Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My Oldest Son

My son has finally realized the error of his ways...lol. He seems to be ready to straighten up and fly right now. However, there is a trail of errors to be corrected as well.

Almost a year ago, his dad and I agreed to send him to live with his dad. I have done the primary raising of the kids. Dad has a tendency to have very high expectations. However, what he is trying to implement is good but it would be better if dad would "teach" our son rather than bark at him.

My son once said, "Mom, I'm too old to be a kid and too young to be grown man. It's like I'm in the middle." I explained to him, "This is the time where you let your parents 'teach' you various elements of life as they occur." i.e. paying bills, car repairs, buy groceries, etc. Most of the time, I feel, young adults need to go through new experiences step by step with guidance from their parents. To just "tell" them what to do and expect them to do it, can be confusing and overwhelming.

At this point, I think this is my son's delima with his dad. So, what my son does is calls me and I give him directions on what his dad is telling him to do. Then I call dad and get more details. Eventually, it all works out. I usually end up getting everyone on the same page.

So, ladies, divorced or married, it seems our job is to make sense of confusion in the family. If you are divorced and have children, you are still connected to that mate through those children. It is very important to be able to communicate and interact at a minimum basis for the sake of the kids. I feel my ex and I have achieved this very well.

No offense to the husbands, but the wives tend to be the "brains" behind the family....lol!