Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Fighting Those Emotions Again

I've been fighting good old depression for the past few days again. I beginning to think of it as a routine cycle. Only thing I can attribute it to is being a female. I feel good physically. I've been getting rest, eating much better and I've began my exercising routine again. In fact, I've lost 2 lbs! Yes, I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's a start lol! I'm excited.

I'm restless and bored most of the time. I have pleanty to do around the house with my kids and the day care. Maybe it's more that I am bored with my daily routine. I suppose, like most people, I rarely have a chance to take my time and do what "I want" to do. I've been wanting to take my motorhome out for a long time now. Just up to the harbor and stay the weekend, just 2 nights, all by myself.

As women, mothers and wives we tend to handle most things in the household in addition to our jobs. We change "hats" more than we realize. We go from be housekeepers i.e. doing the laundry, cleaning the house... dusting, vacuuming, changing the linens to being chiefs cooking or preparing some kind of breakfast, lunch and dinner for our families to shopping for food, clothing and anything inbetween. Even family issues with individual family members we are there to sort things out and find resources to get our loved to a doctor, dentist or medication.

Between the day care, my own family needs and my internship on the weekends, I think I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. I should have expected this time to come. It's hard work doing my internship, especially in addition to the day care. Pretty soon I will be time to begin studying for the license exam.

I really can't afford to get overwhelmed. My internship something I feel is a necessity. This is my future. I do feel better that I have my retirement account almost established. It's a late start, but I need to get it set up as soon as possible. My hope is to work, maybe part time, as a family therapist, while using my retirement only if necessary. I actually "want" to work, at least part time. I don't want to get bored with life. Basically, I just want a more simple life with less expectations from other people.

I will spend the next few days regaining my focus. I would say it's more of a mental thing with me right now. I do feel rather anxous. I will focus on bringing down my anxiety and being patient with myself. Everything seems to be in a good place.
Ok. I think I got it now. Maybe I just needed to vent some feelings....hmmmm

Thanks for "reading". Positive thoughts and prayers.....:-)