I had a conversation with this so-called friend of mine. I told him exactly how I feel and I can no longer pretend that I am ok with how things have been going. I told him I can not pretend anymore that I'm ok just because he apologized a few times.
He said he has been trying to "make it up" to me, but that's crap because that is what he use to say back in the day. He has told too may lies. He did admit that he did keep some information from me but he tried to belittle it by saying "That's neither here not there." In my opinion, it is "right here" because I was the one who he lied to. I was the one effected by his lies. I hope I am not whinning. If so, please forgive me. I am highly p***ed off, extremely angry! I felt no remorse as this conversation took place. I felt/feel he got what he deserved. I'm not the cussing type, but I was definitely forthcoming with my expressions to him.
In conclusion, I did not rehash all those issues. I simply told him, in order for me to be ok with him, I need him to confess his lies, to admit he lied and agree what he lied about. He asked, "How am I supposed to do that when I can't remember what issues you are talking about?" I told him, "Sorry, I can't help you with that."
I am to the point, if the friendship is lost, then so be it. When it comes a time that you think about a person and you get a very negative feeling in your gutt that grows and grows, it is time to let go. It feels very similar to when I was done with my ex. I worked on our marriage for 4 long years without his cooperation.
I think it wouldn't bother me so much if he wouldn't ask me to marry him. It's like he's using the proposal like a bandaide, a fix-all when, in actuality, open heart surgery is required.
Thanks for listening.