Monday, July 26, 2010


The internship is going quite well. It does feel good to be able to help people...those that really want to be helped. I have a family, son and stepfather, who have been struggling for the past 9 months or so. The boy is 13 years old. Stepfather has been with his mom since he was 2 years old. They also have 3 other boys from their union.

The stepfather comes from a background of neglect. His own father committed suicide when he was 6 years old. He found out when he was 9 years old. His mom ended up with a boyfriend who was a drug addict/alcoholic. Mom worked while all the kids and this boyfriend were at home doing drugs and drinking. As a boy, he was not fed or bathe and was ridiculed for it by his mom's boyfriend. By age 14, he was drinking himself. By 16 he was addicted to cocaine. He's been clean for just a few years.

The stepson has his own issues as well. He is not on drugs or alcohol, but his biological father has made some major mistakes as well. This bio father is trying to make up for by making promises that he fails to keep. The mom is basically caught in the middle of this mess and does not know how to defend her own son.

Well, I had the boy come in with his mom for a session or two. Then I had the stepfather come in with the mom. Then I had the whole family come in. Overall, we discussed being consistent with the rules for all the children, at an age appropriate level. I really think the stepfather is trying very hard, but he becomes frustrated because the boy becomes frustrated and they truly clash in a major way.

Once we established age appropriate consequences for each child, and follow-through, I was able to focus more on the stepfather and the 13 year old son. We discussed communication with respect. I provided the boy with some outlets to help relieve some of his frustration and gave stepdad some phrases to reflect back to the boy during conflict. This allowed the boy to hear and know that the stepdad understood what he was feeling.

To my surprise, I received a phone call from the dad letting me know that this technique worked. When he did it, he was calm with no yelling. The son became teary-eyed and speechless! The situation never escalated and resulted in a hug between the two of them! I was in tears myself!

Not every client works out this way. In fact, very few do. However, it feels sooo good when it does! :-).

Happy thoughts and prayers!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Catching Up To Me

I'm not sure if my schedule is catching up to me or what, but I am really going through the blahs this week! Yuk! Everything makes me tearful. I was talking with my daughter this morning, about some sensitive "stuff" regarding a very broken friendship, and I was barely able to get my words out without seriously crying!...gheez! I do have alot going on at one time, but who doesn't?

I am, however, working on a new blanket. Crotcheting has really been helping to keep me calm when I feel anxious. Alot of times, when you deal with kids, you have places in your schedule where they are having free play or playing outside, leaving me with idle time to observe or talk with them. Over time, this can become "unfulfilling"...for lack of a better term lol! Crotcheting allows me to fill those moments a little bit.

Speaking of making blankets, Ms. Polly I do apologize for not displaying my other blanket. The camera and the computer would not cooperate for some reason. When I get it figured out, I will get on display.

Well, happy thoughts and prayers!....:-)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This Past Weekend

This past weekend left me feeling quite emotional. It was a reunion in several ways, very nostalgic.

Quite a few years ago, about 8 years ago, my favorite aunt and uncle separated after about 20+ years of marriage (only separation, not divorce). My uncle chose drugs over the family, creating a pretty bad financial trail. My aunt decided to leave him in hopes that he will eventually come to his senses. I was shocked, but I understood. She actually thought it would have been effective if I had talked to him because I was his favorite niece. I was taught to respect your elders even if they are wrong (doesn't mean you can't correct them, but you had to respect them). I did not know what to say to him. In my heart, I felt the best thing to do, at that time, was to be silent. I felt reality of the situation will take it's toll.

Well, this weekend, the family had a mini reunion which was so nice. I saw cousins I hadn't seen in many years. Of course, we all have our own families and children. It was very powerful! Well, as a result of this trip, my aunt visited with my uncle. She spent a few days with him and they had a talk...don't know what they talked about. She did mention that she paved the way for me to re-enter his life.

When I arrived at the house, it was so a good way! Though the neighborhood showed a bit of wear and tear, everything was so much the same! The family house was very, very worn. My aunt always took care of the finances, house repairs and all that stuff. The inside was still the same as well. I don't know what I expected. He has aged significantly but still looks the same, a little less hair that has turned completely white. I could still see his how honary he is, but that was just him...:-).

As we sat, my aunt and I talked about lots of things as we always did and still do. My uncle was always a man of very, very few words. I did share some pictures of my grandson with him which he seemed to enjoy. It was a brief visit, but overall it was a good one.

The rest of the day was filled with visiting other family and friends which was just as nostalgic as this visit. Oldies were playing on the stereo, people were gathered together who we have not seen in a long long time. Really took me back to the old days! It felt good to see that things had not changed very much. That REALLY meant alot to me....not sure why, but it is truly very important to me.

Family and family history is important. I think we take it for granted until someone passes away. It was so cool seeing similarities in each other that made us unique to "our" family, especially with little ones in the next generation coming along.

I can't put it into words that would expess how strongly I feel about this. It was soooo awesome. My heart was warmed in such an overwhelming way that it took me 3 days to calm down. At times, I became tearful! I encourage everyone to appreciate family. We all have those members that we just can't figure out, that cause difficulties, but they are still family.
Positive thoughts and prayers.....:-D