Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Feeling Sooooo Much Better!

I am feeling so much lighter! For the past few days, I have felt so much better emotionally. I so wish I knew what the difference is, you know, what has changed that I feel better. I do continue to tell myself, "It will get better." You know me and how I do things, lol! I look ahead to see, if anything, I can do to shorten the time frame of discomfort. I do believe my discomfort is due to financial shortcomings so my options will be fairly limited. I have done all that I can do at this point.

I've focused more on getting rest, taking my hot baths and going back to bible study. For a wihle there, I had become so overwhelmed that I had lost my way to rebuilding myself. Sunday afternoon, I felt so guilty because I had to give myself permission to lay in bed with movies all day! It paid off wonderfully. I'm not able to take my hot baths as regularly as I would like and had once done due to having a few day care kids late evening, but I have resumed taking my baths as often as I can...sometimes 11:00 pm!

This afternoon, while the kids were sleeping, a very dear friend of mine stopped by to give me a "just-thought-of you" gift. Believe it or not, no one has ever done such a thing for me! It was totally awesome! She has really be there for me spiritually. We pray together and study scriptures together. She brought me a beautiful, large, colorful chime set!

True friends can be totally awesome!

Animals are trusting, take care of them

I am a huge fan of animals, especially dogs. They are so loyal and loving, yet humans can be so abusive. If I could, I would have a dog kennel and take care of all the unwanted dogs. At the same time, they are just like children, from potty training to feeding! lol! Just adorable

Being Consistent

Today, I have a mild concern of not being consistent. I say "mild" because I do understand why I am having difficulty with it and I do know the causes, some of which I do not have control of.

I am referring to being able to create a "regular" schedule with the kids in the daycare. Back in San Diego, things were very different from my physcial location (across the street from a school), resources that were available to providers (headstart, gain, YMCA and the resource listing) and a better economy. My prices were known to be one of the lowest in the city and I was known to get the children prepared for kindergarden. I had a reputation for good discipline for the children as well. In fact, the worst behaved children were often referred to me, LOL!

Today, circumstances are so very different i.e. my city itself (fairly country in the middle of nowhere causing parents to have to commute to major cities), the lack of available subsidized programs and, most of all, the condition of the economy. As we know, cost is always a factor and there are many influences to determining what parents can afford without going so low as to being unable to pay my own bills. I do still keep my charges low.

The economy is hurting us all very badly. Adults are loosing jobs quickly and in mass amounts. People who have worked at major corporations for years and years have lost their jobs and are forced to work at fast food places at 1/4 the pay! The competition is huge! In working at fast foods, grocery stores, etc., they are also forced to work varying hours. My point is such that the state of the economy, parents are having tough times, with crazy hours, doing the best they can to hold on to minimum paying jobs.

I don't want to sound selfish, but I said all that to say, the kids all get here at varying hours, that change from week to week, sometimes even daily. To prepare a cirriculum is fairly difficult because often I don't know who I will have for the day. In addition to that, having my grandson makes for difficulty scheduling as well, babies will be babies.

Every now and again, we have exceptionally exciting days that flow wonderfully. For me, "every not and then" is not enough. Often I feel discouraged and bored. I can only wonder what the children might be feeling.

They do enjoy playing together and are learning may social and interactive skills. They get a lot of physical activity. A few days ago, my friend and neighbor came over and we decided on a whim to rearrange the entire backyard. It turned out very, very nice! The kids absolutely love it and it allows for them to get more large muscle use.