Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Grumpy

I am truly grumpy and depressed today. I now have a migraine...again. Yes, pre-pms.

I like nothing about myself i.e. my looks, my personality, my hair, etc. It feels like I'm being attacked by everyone around me from the day care kids seeming louder/busier than usual (when I know it's me), my kids being critical and friends telling me what to do with my life when I haven't asked for, nor do I need, their input.

These are the times when I want the world to stop just long enough for me to get off at the next stop to regroup. I happen to like my life as it is. I just prefer for people to leave me alone, especially when they don't have their ownselves on task. I don't tell people what to do. I don't tell them they what they are doing is wrong. That is the point of having friendships is to accept a person as they think, perceive and interpret their lives.

When I get in these funks, there's not a lot I can do except fake it until it passes. My style of coping is to turn the world off, as often as I can, just to be still, be quiet, take a break. People around me think that I am going to fall off the face of the earth or get lost in the abyss of depression. I know myself and I know what I need to do to get through the funk.

I'm sorry if I sound inappreciative of friendship and family. I don't mean to be. I just know what I need to help myself. I get frustrated when I feel people pressuring me to do what "they" feel I need to do.

I need two good, long days of lounging around after a long hot bath; to lay across my bed watching movies and dozing off until my body says it's had enough and is ready to run again.

Is that too much to ask?

Positive thoughts and prayers please....:-(

2 comments:

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Well I can honestly say I know how you are feeling. You have to hunker down and be still within yourself amidst all the noise of the world.

And unhelpful advice is just a pain. Oh, and having people tell you how you should be or live just makes it worse. You just have to say thanks but no thanks.

Not that I can help from all the way over here, but a nice cup of tea and a quiet room might help a bit.

Hope it passes soon.

presious said...

Linda,

you are such a sweetheart. I do know you understand. Advice and suggestions I can take. "Telling" me what to do, I can't take.

When I am like this, I strive for some quiet room. Last night, after my grandson was put to bed at 7:30pm, I took a hot bath, ate dinner, brushed my teeth and laid down to watch the blue tube. I was falling asleep at 9:20pm. Yes, I turned the t.v. off and went to sleep.

Unfortunately, I did not sleep well. I think my allergies are on the rise. It's Spring time here in California. Pollens and dry air is really bad.

Thank you so much for understanding. Understanding helps the most! :_)