Good Things

The past few weeks have been pretty busy. I've had to really stay on top of things...though I usually do.

My cold is finally getting better. With the baby being more on a night schedule, going to bed at 8:30 pm sharp, it allows me to take those long hot baths I need so very much...lol! I'm sleeping much better and waking up more rested and ready for the day. Eating better helps a lot too. A few of the daycare parents and myself are trying to eat better by eating less fast food and more fresh fruits and veggies.

For the past week and a half, the washing machine has been out of commission. You don't realize how much you need something until it's gone or not available. We muddled through. It finally got fixed today. It took some phone calls and applying some pressure to some folks, but it's done :). It was under warranty so not money out of pocket! I plan to renew it again as well.

Curriculum has been going well with the kids. My four year old is doing well with learning new words. His writing skills are really awesome. Usually he plays "dumb" and won't' do his work. Lately, he's been doing well. Still haven't gotten any more kids. I did renew my ad in the paper again and had my son pass out some flyers as well.

The modification on my house is moving right along. It will still take a few more months. I really hope to gain more children by then. I'm trying really hard. I've been putting in job applications as well, just as an alternative. I don't think I will find a job making as much as I do in the daycare. The travel distance alone would cost a bit. Some jobs are as far away as 58 miles in one direction. My best friend travels 80 miles in one direction....every day! Can you imagine my gas bill?!...not to mention the wear and tear on the car itself! Yes, if I have a choice, I prefer the day care.

I'm in the process of making my grandson some more slippers. Yes, he has outgrown the first pair already! The other day, the slippers were setting on the table. He went over to them and brought them to me as if to want me to put them on. Yes, I did put them on him. He looked down at his feet, then looked at me and happily went on to play...lol! Time for a new pair. I'm making them in a slightly different pattern. His feet are fat and long...lol! I love to kiss those chubby little toes :).

Positive thoughts! :)

The Way The Day Has Gone

With the way today has gone, I must conclude I am pre-pms. Perhaps that is why I overreacted to my son last night. I feel as if I am holding sadness inside my chest that can not be released. That is usually a sure sign of pms, overwhelming sadness i.e. depression. UGH!

Well, since I am aware of it, at least I can begin to take care of myself and prepare. You know the drill, let those things go that can wait. Get all the rest I can. Take long, hot baths. Take lots of deep breaths. Most of all, I must remember my frame of mind with regards to those around me....sigh**

A Little Upset

Apparently, it's time for my last child to go through the teenage-alien-stage. He is grumpy most of the time. Complains about almost everything from the after taste in food or drinks to the clothes he wears, the clothes "he" chose. He's not obeying the house rules of no eating in the bedrooms. It's always something at this age.

Another house rule is for the kitchen to be clean and closed by 8:00 pm. Yes, that is early. Though I forget, that rule came about through undesireable circumstances. However, should one become hungry after that time, simply clean up your mess. Well, he seems to "refuse" to clean up after himself. Afterall, for some reason, my boys, once they reached early teens, began eating pretty much non-stop.

So, after calling him to clean up his mess on 5 different occasions, I gave him 3000 standards. Yes, I was a bit upset. Keep in mind, I run a daycare. I need to use the kitchen first thing in the morning. Besides, there are no maids in this house! He does the same thing with emptying the trash from the kitchen as well.

Back to the rule of no food in the bedrooms. The other day, I came upstairs and I hear this crinkling sound. I look to my left, down the hall, which leads directly into his room, and I see the dog licking a paper bag. As I approach, I see that it is the bag from the yogurt covered pretzels. This incident is only a few days following the dishes and the trash incidents.

At this time, he is at school which worked out to be a good thing. It allowed me time to cool off. When he got home, I immediately gave him 3000 more standards and placed him on restriction until both standards were completed. His explanation was that the bag was in his pocket when he came upstairs....uh huh, whatever!

Normally, when I put them on restriction, I strip their rooms of any and all electronics...every last one of them. This time, I figured since he had done most of the first standards, it wouldn't take him long to complete the second ones. Therefore, it wouldn't be necessary to take the items from his room. All together that would be 6000 standards. That would be enough of a consequence in itself.

Well, last night, he goest downstairs to fix something to eat at 7:25pm or so. At 7:50pm I call him to come upstairs. I said, "Turn off that t.v." He says, "Ok", which I thought was funny because he knew I knew the t.v. was on. Ok, no big deal. I know he is in his teenage-alien-stage so I don't trip. In fact, I chuckled a bit.

So, tell him, "I want to see your standards." He says, "Mom, I'm still working on them." The other day when I looked at his standards, I told him he is writing too small. If I can't read it, then I don't know what he's writing...literally. So, when he brought them to me, yes, they were way, way too small. Yes, I became angry and tore up the paper. Then I proceeded to yell at him. Realizing how upset I had become, to the point of beathing too hard (this has been going on for a few months now), I called their dad.

Dad handled both of us very well. He's always very calm. We are very opposite. My son was in tears by the time he got off the phone. I'm sure he is fairly frustrated too. Dad had also advised him to call our oldest boy, which is what I had asked him to do in the first place but he didn't want to. While he spoke with his brother, dad took the time to listen to my concerns.

Following our phone conversation, I took a drive, sat by the lake, cried a little from frustration, then drove some more before coming home to bed. Today, I'm feeling a little numb. I'm ok though. My mother would say, when she was still alive, let yourself cry, then put a cold towel on your face, take a few deep breathes and start over again.

Better Today

Today was one of those fantastic days that you really don't know why it was so fantastic...lol. It has been a really good day. Everything went smoothly and productively.

The weather here has been in the early hundreds, like 105 and 102. The kids have been cooped up inside for the pasted week. Today, I was determined to get them outside. Poor things. Everyone arrived by 9 am. It was still early and it was just beginning to get hot at 90 degrees. The winds were pretty strong but made a nice breeze. The kids had a ball! They really needed it too!

T. had a rough start today. He had mommitis. He had a tough time leaving mommie this morning. Shortly after she left, he was fine...whew!

I almost started cirriculum today. Unfortunately, I had nothing prepared. So, I am setting it up for tomorrow. I want them to play some games and do some painting. I think that will be a good way to get back into it.

The washing machine won't go into cycle. I called Best Buy and found out it is still under warranty! Whoooo hooo! I'm going to have the frig checked as well because it seems to be freezing the food. It is a side-by-side and the food that is freezing is close to the freeze side. It might be that the freezer is too high. I turned it down but I would like them to check it anyway since they will be here.

Other than that, all has been really good today. Last night and this morning, I prayed for focus and calmness. I believe He has answered my prayers :).

Update...

I spoke to my advisors today. They recommended staying put and waiting for the completion of the modification. If at the end of the process, I decide to walk away from the house, I still can.

The advantage of staying in the house is to save what money I can since I am not paying the mortgage. That money will be used either as the first payment after the modification is complete or to do whatever I need to do should I walk away from the house. That made me feel a lot better.

Apparently, if I receive a foreclosure notice from the bank, I will still have 90 days to move. However, the modification will also work in my favor. As long as the modification is in process, the bank will not sell the house. I potentially will have 9 to 12 months to live here mortgage free.

Should I accept the modification settlement, all late payments and fees will be added to the principle. I will make payments according to the new arrangements i.e. a decreased interest rate with lowered payments. At that point, I will need the saved money as a down payment or first payment of the new arrangements.

Now, another key piece of this huge puzzle is that of getting kids in the daycare. I am already doing my best. I am also in the process of looking for other employment. We will just have to see how things go from here. In the meantime, I have decided to stay put and utilize my time as efficiently as I can.

I do feel much better. Kind of back where I was before I panicked...lol!

Brain Storming

Me and my kids sat yesterday afternoon and brainstormed on ideas of what we can do with the house, just in case the modification doesn't go well. My income is also threatened.

I am very concerned about the day care as well. Many other day cares, in the area, are closing because they can't handle the economy. Though I have been running ads in the PennySaver, putting up my banner, monitoring my webpage and talking to other providers, the kids are just not coming in. I am still down three kids. A few of my kids are three years old. Parents like to put their children in preschool at this age. If I loose those three children, I am really, really in bad shape.

So, what we discussed was my daughter, whose 21 and my 17 year old son would find a place to rent together. My 15 year old son would stay with them to finsh high school. Between the three of them, they would work out babysitting arrangements for my grandson. I would let this house go, give it back to the bank, and move back to San Diego. I would move back into the rental that I own down there.

Though I don't want to do daycare again, it is a very, very good location for it. I was well known in the area being two houses from the school. Getting children shouldn't be a problem at all. I plan to look online to see what other employment opportunities might exist. However, the down side is being away from my children and living alone, not to mentioin feeling like a complete failure to my intended goal.

I will make some phone calls today to my real estate advisors and see what their input might be. Ideally, I should wait for the modification to be completed. However, even if I get the best arrangements from the mod., if I don't get kids in the daycare, I might not be able to afford the payments anyway.

I should have more ideas by the end of the day. Positive thoughts :)

Improvement

This week has been a very good week. I haven't felt this good in a long time :). Yes, I do have some stressors, but it's all good, as the kids say.

I went out last night and bought the ingredients for my health drink I use to make a few years ago. I put organic juice, soy protein powder, veggie mix, Aloe Vera juice, any kind of fruit (I usually put apples and bananas), and an antioxidant fiber. It is very good for cleansing the system. Makes me quite regular.

I'm not much of a breakfast person. I can sip on this pretty much through lunch time. I can eat a nice light dinner with a salad, drink lots of water throughout the day and be good shape in a week or so. I'm not one for being 'strict' with my diet so, if I desire, I can still eat the way I want.

My goal is not to be on a diet. My goal is to improve my eating habits, to eat a bit more healthier. I still enjoy meat and fast food. I just won't be eating as much of it. I want more fruits, veggies and ruffage in my diet. I really think my diet is a significant part of how I've been feeling. I started this before, not too long ago, but I did not stay disciplined. I did decrease my fast food intake, but I could do better with my meals at home.

So, this is the goal, to improve my diet and to encourage myself to feel better, have more energy and to be a little healthier.