Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In My Absence

Well, it's been awhile since I've been on my blog. Sometimes, the old brain just doesn't want to cooperate...lol! During that time, I've been through a few transitions.
My grandson spent the weekend with my ex husband and his wife. When he got back, he seemed so disoriented. We think he experienced some separation anxiety. He returned sunday night and was not back to normal behavior until this morning. I was truly concerned. From the moment he arrived til today, he was fussy, whinnie and extremely clingy. He even ran a temperature. I'd like to believe the temperature was due to his teeth or some other reason. Today, he back to my sweet, happy, affectionate grandson.

The other issue that has taken my attention is that of looking back into my career as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I think I shared the story of my downfall with you all. If not, I can do that at another time. I was terminated, without notice, back in August of 07. A few of my co-workers FINALLY contacted me and said they believe it was due to some mishap or failure on the part of my, then, supervisor who no longer works there. It makes me EXTREMELY angry to think about it.

I was going through very difficult times then. Sometimes, it is just our turn to face back to back harships in life. My car had major repairs twice then, on the 3rd round of repairs, the car simply died all together. I drove the van (a 1990 V8 Ford Econoline) and two days later it broke down. My ex suggested I drive my tiny little 1977 motor home and the started died two days after the van. Yes in 5 days, all my vehicles broke down. At the time of my termination from the job, my daughter had loaned me her car. Two weeks later, I was terminated from the job.

Loosing your job is the most devastating thing that can ever happen to you. I was completely broken, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, etc. They did not give me a reason so I had no idea as to whether or not it was my skills as a therapist or the budget or what. I tried to find out by calling Human Resources, but they told me that were not allowed to say according to such-a-such code. I went into "get another job" mode but, literally after putting out hundreds of resumes and applications, there was nothing!

After 8 months of working with my mortgage company, Chase, I was one of the first people to go through a modification program. The fixed me up quite well. In the meantime, a friend of mine made me supervisor of his cleaning company and paid me quite well which is what I used for income, while I got the daycare up rolling again. (This is not or ever was my office. It is, however, dream office :)).

I said all the above to say, it has taken this long to reassert this issue for myself. It has taken all this time for me to gather the courage to face this again. It has been quite painful and emotional.

So, as a result of my above explanation, I called yesterday actually and they followed up with me today to see what I need to do to get back on track. I plan to do daycare at least until my grandson is in preschool. By then, my 3000 intern hours will have expired and I will have to begain again. This would be fine because I'm sure I will be able to find a job, with benefits, to regain these hours again.

The plan is, when my youngest son graduates from high school in 3 years, I will down size on my houses, return to San Diego, get a job doing family therapy (emphasis on children), find a small, victorian house or apartment to "rent" and live life easily and happily.


Linda and her Twaddle said...

Do you think something good has come out of the struggle? Sometimes the only way I can move forward on things that were difficult in my life years ago is to search for the positive.

Although, sometimes is is just plain old unlucky and you have to claw your way back.

I hope things pick up more and more for you.

presious said...


I have become stronger as a result of the struggle. I feel people go through things for a reason. As I look back, it seemed some things were going on that were fairly wrong. I think, in my supervisor's attempt to make corrections, she made the situation worse. I happen to be at the consequences of her errors. Office politics said that the people there were always out to get one-up on the next person. When I first arrived there, I was told to keep to myself. That is the kind of person I am anyway. I'm friendly and polite, but I don't get involved or develop personal relationships/friendships in the work place...for this very reason.

What have I learned? Well, sometimes things are going to happen out of my control. In such a situation, I have to continue to find the strength to rebuild and move on. This was extremely, extremely tough, but I did it...all due to my faith in God.

After the HUGE struggle, over an 18month span, I have regained a decent level of living. However, I still do not feel "safe" in terms of the work force. Even though I am self-employed as a day care provider, several of my parents have almost lost their jobs. If parents don't work or if subsidized programs are cut and parents can't afford to pay for child care, then I too am effected.

I do believe I was just caught in a web of politics that I was not even aware of and suffered the consequences. I am totally appreciative of having been able to grow and move on from the experience...at last!!

Thanks Linda...:)

Suburbia said...

Your plan sounds lovely. It's great to have a goal isn't it? So sorry you've had such a tough time though.

lori vliegen said...

my mom always told me "everything happens for a reason". and as we know, moms are always right! it's always difficult when we think we have everything figured out and then life throws us a curve ball. it sounds like you have a good plan...hang in there, presious! :)

Polly said...

Yay for plans Pres - it sounds like you have put alot of thought into what next and I hope that things work out for you.

presious said...

THank you all for your encouragement. I really does help...:)