Friday, May 22, 2009

The Past Few Days

I wish I were able to get to my blog during those moments when my thoughts are flowing! Unfortunately, those moments are usually just as I turn out the light to go to sleep or while I'm driving down the! Today, I will attempt to recapture a few of those thoughts and share them with you.

Watching children can be so interesting. It can really cause us to step back and take a good look at life..Last night, my youngest son had his end-of-the-year banquet for the school band that he's in. At first, I really dreaded going. As "mom", not going was not an option. So, I swallowed my dread and went on. Turns out, I really enjoyed myself. I seldom get to get involved. My own household, being a single parent, is often so very busy. I try to be there for the very important moments. Taking off from an in-home daycare is not as easy as taking off from a job that's away from home. I really enjoyed spending time with a few of the other parents and seeing the faces of so many of my son's friends.

As the teacher described each child of the award, I began to think back when I played the piano so very fluently. There are times when I truly miss playing the piano. I still have my mother's childhood piano that she & her sister took lessons on, then my sister and I took lessons on followed by my daughter's lessons. Playing the piano is definitely one of those things I would like to get back as my life settles down after the kids have grown into their own lives.

He was proud to have his mom by his side, which I "thought" really didn't matter to him until we arrived. I sat with other parents. He sat with friends. He kept coming over to me and checking on me. It was really quite sweet. He's the baby of my four and I feel like I'm seeing him grow up right before my quickly.

In order to attend the band banquest last night, I left my grandson with my other son. He had texted me on how to fix the baby's food and to feed him. When I got home, he was doing such a good job of taking care of his nephew! He was tired, so I took over and got the baby to bed. As I came upstairs to prep for bed myself, I saw his prom pictures on my dresser. Though it was late, I just had to stop and appreciate what I saw.

As a result, I went ane pulled out my two oldest children's pictures from their proms and placed all three side by side. They have really grown up over the years! I thought to myself, 3 down and one to go! Before going to bed, I continued through a few more batches of pictures. I found a family portait wherein, my youngest looks just like me when I was his age! It was unbelieveable!! I called the boys out of their beds to come look at the picture. They could not believe how much they have grown and have changed over the years. As I quietly put the pictures away, I began to cry tears of love and appreciation for my children. They are truly gifts from God....*sniff.

Speaking of my grandson, he has been doing very well with sleeping at night. He has only been walking up one time for the past two nights. I think what was happening was, my daughter was concerned about his gaining too much weight. I think he's fine. So, what I had started doing, was alternating milk and water each time he'd wake up. He had gradually increased from about 2 oz of each per night to 8 oz of each per night! His diaper would need to be changed sometimes 2x during the night. I believe this is what was disrupting his sleep. Cloth diapers don't keep wetness away like disposable diapers do. Needless to say, I have cut out the water. He now only drinks maybe 3 oz of milk the whole night, and he is not as wet in the morning.

I have a very busy weekend for myself. My cousin, that babysat me as a very young girl, has bought me a ticket to the jazz festival at the Gaslamp in San Diego for tomorrow. Yes, I am absolutely ecstatic!! :). I have arranged the boys, as backup, to look after the baby until I get back. Though my daughter will be home, until she has to go to work in the evening, she has a 15 page paper and a 5 page paper to write. She tries to handle the baby and her school work, but I am usually there as backup. My oldest boy is coming in tonight and I am quite excited about his arrival. He's just an hour away, but I still miss him a lot.

I haven't been to sunday services in a few weeks. I really miss it so I plan to go this sunday come rain, sleet or snow!
On monday, Memorial Day, I'm going on a motorcycle ride in the mountains with another friend of mine, just to get away for the day (this is a bike that is just like his). I decided to close the daycare for the holiday. Usually, I don't make a big deal out of closing the daycare for the holidays, but lately I've been thinking. I don't take a vacation so I should take more advantage of the holidays throughout the year.

I know, you're probably thinking, why doesn't she take vacation? Everyone gets a paid vacation. Well, I'm so undecided about the issue because it will cost either me or the parents some money. To go on a "paid" vacation, let's say for a week, I would obviously have to close the daycare. The parents would have to find someone else to keep their kids in my absence. Some of my parents do not have family as backup, so they will have to pay "again" to have someone watch their kids. I just can't afford for the parents to not pay for that week. It would seem unfair for them to have to pay twice, one to me and one to someone else in my absence. If you have any ideas, I'm definitely open :).

I am happy to say, my energy is pretty much back to normal....:) I am feeling soooo much better now. I'm still not sure what the lack of energy was all about. Not knowing bothers me because I won't know how to prevent it in the future. I've gone back to taking notes on things to be done throughout the day, you know, those little to-do lists? lol! Hey! lol! they really work!
I think part of what goes on as a daycare provider is that you become isolated and overwhelmed by only having children to communicate with. I feel as if I become embedded in my own world, in my own routine, like a hamster on a wheel caught up in the motion of life. It becomes really difficult to stop that wheel, change gears and do something different...just caught up.

My plan is to try to engage in more activities away from the house when the daycare is closed like walking or sitting by the lake, even calling my friend for a motorcycle ride. I also want to make time for letter writing or card making. This would be something creative, fun and sharing to others. I'm still in process, but these are a few of my near future goals that I am building up to.

Well, thanks for reading again. Sorry my entries have been so long lately.


Carmen said...

Your comment on my blog this morning about my studio space made my day. Actually, that post is pictures from the little corner of my bedroom where I used to paint. We moved about 6 months ago and I now have my own art room / studio in our new house. It is pure heaven! But oh, how I would love to have an actual studio on the boardwalk... with keys and customers and admires. I will keep dreaming! You too ok.

Your comments always make me smile.


Polly said...

Hey Pres. I felt so warm and happy when I read about how you feel about your children, while I am in no rush for my ollie to grow up, I look forward to sharing all the special moments with him as his life progresses.

Please do take a holiday - you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself first.

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Isn't it nice when you have those moments of reflection about your babies? My boy turns 12 in three weeks. I cannot believe it. Next year is high school.

Holidays are hard to take. Maybe if you organise it in advance and get some other home daycare places to help out. See if you can exchange some holiday time?

Motorbike - you are so cool. The only way to travel.