Thursday, June 25, 2009

Breaking Down

Well, I am finally going to go to the doctor today. I am not getting my hopes up regarding my medication. I take Cymbalta which works really, really well for both the pain and the depression, however, there is no generic for it and it is extremely expensive.

I do not have "any" medical insurance since I lost my job back in Aug of '07. I simply can not afford it. I am primarily going to the doctor to confirm or disconfirm whether or not I can get my meds. Kind of a process of elimination rather than continuing to wonder what the outcome can possibly be. Maybe I will be nicely surprised with some good news!
Last night, I took my spa bath and laid down. My daughter was off work and she had the baby. I did have two late nighters but they were not a problem. I felt great after my bath. I was actually considering not going to the doctor appt. When I woke up this morning, I was disappointed to discover the pain had returned.
If this appt is not successful, I'm not sure what I will do. I loose one more kid at the end of this week. I try to remain positive in my thoughts. I try to stay neutral so I don't get as disappointed if things don't work out.
Prayers and much faith.


Linda and her Twaddle said...

Gosh, you have been having a tough time. How frustrating when it all falls on your shoulders. The whole stress of mortgage, less children to look after and no health insurance would just aggravate the condition you have.

I hope that a few things pick up for you. Hopefully some extra kids arrive for some care.

Take care.

presious said...


Yes, it can become a bit burdensome. Interesting your choice of words "all falls on my shoulders." I use this phrase with my children all the time. Yes, the burden does influence the symptoms because it causes stress.

I'm doing pretty good so far. My mind feels clear and I have faith. I think of myself as a fighter. I might fight like a girl with a few tears, lol!, but I will fight.

I'm down grading my days to do only what "must" be done. I'm having my own kids help out by looking after my grandson while I take long hot baths. I'm also trying to stay very organized so that the routines go smoothly and I can get to bed at a decent hour.

Thank you for understanding. How are you doing? Your pictures definitely shows how I! It will all be better soon. It really will.