Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Kinda Bummed

I'm feeling kinda bummed today. The reality of not having enough kids is setting in. I do have a plan, but it means things will be quite tight once again. I am working hard not to feel discouraged.

Being pre-pms doesn't help either. Yes, I am one of those emotional types. It really is a bummer. The slightest thing can bring a huge flow of tears! It is soooo annoying. I consider myself to be a strong person, one who does what she has to do to handle situations. I don't like feeling so overwhelmed with emotion to the point of crying. All I could do with such intense feelings was to go into my closet and pray!

I have "symptoms" of fibromyalsia. I say symptoms because though I can feel these symptoms, I refuse to admit or accept to full diagnosis of this disorder. I say this because it is a degenerative disorder. When people ask what it is, I tell them it is to the muscles what arthritis is to the joints. It can be quite painful. Headaches/migraines are common. It effects the eyes as well. Most common areas of pain are at the base of the head, the neck, the shoulders and the back. The wrists and hands have their share as well. Fatigue and depression go hand in hand and can be extreme and extremely frustrating. This disorder can weaken the muscles to the point of becoming disabled. To accept this is very scary for me. Therefore, I nurture the symptoms very early.

One might say, "Well, I have those sypmptoms." Most of us experience tension or stress in these areas of the body. If you find that the syptoms are lingering long after the stress has been resolved, you might want to visit your doctor. The pain can be a low, constant throb to an intense tightening or acking knot in a particular muscle. Your eyes will feel as if you are looking through a haze or fog. You will definitely know if you have it. It is different from every day tension in the neck.

Well, I've complained enough. I try to stay busy as to not focus on what I am feeling. I have to balance the kids with my physical discomfort. I think I have pretty good system. Must get started. Kids are starting to arrive.

6 comments:

lori vliegen said...

wow....i'm SO glad that you found out about those scam artists! hang in there....there are lots of wonderful people out there looking for someone sweet just like you to care for their children! :)

presious said...

Lori,

You are such a sweetheart...*sniff. Your energy and passion for life always inspire me that I can do this! Thank you so much!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Thats weird cos l was told l have myaglia in my right breast which is 'breast pain'...scar tissue as I had mastitis regularly over a four year digress, I sympathise...the reason l popped by again was that I AM thinking about starting a blog/group for teen mum..are you really interested?

I will research, but there is blogger, wordpress blogs..or use the ning thingy..

how about Manic Mama's Unite? or something with more alliteration (yes l do like it)
Mature Manic Mama's, for Mothers of teenagers who need to find some mojo magic without the use of mushrooms or batteries.....or something equally enagaging
...


what say you


saz x

presious said...

Saz,

I also put an entry on your blog, but absolutly. I would love to be apart of a mature mothers of teenagers blog!! Your title is awesome.

I really appreciate your inviting me to be a part of it! :P :P

Totally cool!

Polly said...

Pres - I totally get you, I am a bag of hormones at the best of times - Im sure I drive my family crazy.

presious said...

Polly,

In your condition, you have right to be a bag of emotions! Don't be so hard on yourself. This is the one time that we, as women, can TRULY justify our behavior and our feelings. As long as Ollie is taken care of, let it flow and do what you have to do for you.

Stay focused :)....hugs! hugs! hugs!