One of my day care parents is quite frustrated with her teenage boy. He just doesn't seem to get it. She has tried everything from stripping his room of all electronics, to only letting him wear two outfits a week (he is a fashion nut), to not letting him go to Knotts Berry Farm for his birthday. Yet, he still doesn't get it. He has 14 "Fs" in math and a "D-" in physical ed.
I've had my share of frustrations with my 3 boys. I can relate to what she is feeling. What is a parent to do when her child just isn't getting it? People often say, discipline begins at home. That may very well be true, however, when one is doing all one can do and nothing is working, what else can be done? This mom is thinking about home schooling in order to discontinue her son's social network. I think that might be a good idea, however, what if he doesn't respect the home school teacher? What if he refuses to focus and do his work then?
How helpless she must feel....
Positive thoughts and prayers
3 comments:
I run programs for parenting of teens. I think distancing him from his friends will probably make things make worse. She needs to work with him not against him. They need to set some ground rules together and agree on the consequences. If she tries treating him like an adult and giving him some responsibility he may just step up. Just some thoughts. I see these problems all the time in my line of work.
Polly,
Wow! Sounds like some good options. Rather than power play, negotiate and apply some responsibilities.
Personally, I think there may be some issues surrounding the father. Mom doesn't talk about him much, except to say he is "working" in another city.
Mom seems to be struggling a great deal. It seems to me, even if he were working in another city, he would be sending her money to help with the four kids. The boy that is acting out is the oldest and a boy.
I wonder if the boy has difficulty comprehending his father's absence and may be acting out accordingly.
hmmmm....
How hard for her things must be. Perhaps if she lets him tell her what is going on it might help. I often think children are always, always being told to do things and not many people want to let kids have their say.
Then again, I only have one child who not yet 13 and who knows what will happen in the next few years.
I hope she works things out.
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