Last night was heart breaking for me as an event occurred with my neighbor and dear friend from across the street. She is a wonderful mother and wife. I have always admired her for how well she handles her husband and children of a blended family.
One of the daughters, all five of the kids are grown, was exposed to drugs in the womb by the biological mother. My friend is the stepmom. As a result of this exposure, this particular daughter will always have emotional difficulties from time to time i.e. irrational, anger issues, explosive, tell untruths, etc. For the most part, she remains stable until she feels threatened.
Recently, the daughter lost her boyfriend, somewhat due to her mental irrationalities. Her greatgrand mother passed away last week and her father, who is her strong hold, had to go to New York for the services. So, basically, she has had some major losses very recently.
Well, last night every thing came to a head and she had a major melt down and tried to cut her wrists. I don't think she was trying to "kill" herself because she did not cut horizontally, rather she cut vertically, as if she was trying to create a release valve for all the anxieties she was feeling.
During the ordeal, her stepmom ordered her sister to come get me to assist in calming things down. I ran over to help. The police had already been called, which they responded very well and in a caring fashion. They send 6 police units, a fire engine and an ambulance! They handled her very well as they took her in for a 5150. After it all had calmed down, I sat with my friend for a few hours and we talked. I very, very, very difficult situation to live with. At any given time, the daughter can have a melt down. In tha past, she has attacked the family with knives and fighting. Quite naturally, they will see about medicating her, however, the pattern is typcially that when they start to feel better, they stop taking the medication, then they start all over again.
I worked in juvenile hall for about a year (before being terminated due to the economy), in the high security unit. It was hard to watch these teenagers who had similar issues and had resorted to the streets for guidance and, thus, ended up locked up. Often, these kids would have melt downs, even become suicidal. It was my job to evaluate and cousel with them. Many of them were broken as very young children. Many days, I drove home worried or in tears behind these young men who had become so hardened by street life due to circumstances that were not their own. Sometimes, once the damage is done, there is no turning back.
Again, I ask, what do you do?....very sad
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Relieved!
I just dropped the mortgage payment in the mail right now! What a relief! Being two kids down in the daycare has made the budget quite tight. :You know how I do it, I look ahead and try to avoid mishaps before they happen...from groceries to bills to paying the mortgage. This is how it pays off! :) Above and beyond is that of my faith in God! He is awesome! Let me tell you, prayer works!
I also have a potentially new little girl for the daycare. Her mom is a go-getter, single parent, pursing her masters in social work and working while raising two teenagers and a adolescent. I've been there and done that while raising four kids. It can definitely be a challenge, but can absolutely be done! She and I talked for a very long time. Her schedule will be a bit crazy, but I really like helping people to accomplish their dream. The world is not meriful at all so we have to do whatever we can to get around some major obstacles. I am more than thrilled to help.
I feel pretty good this morning. Already have the meatloaf in the oven, cooked a pot of rice and the green beans were done yesterday. My grandson is doing quite well. He is on the floor more and more for tummy time. Getting soooo big! In fact, it's time to go buy him another batch of clothes! He is doing well with his sleeping schedule both day and night. When the daycare kids are playing outside, I put him in the high chair and set it outside too. He gets so excited cause he wants to go play! :) Before we know it, he will be out there too.
Yes, Polly, the ice cream was just the right thing for dinner! It really hit that spot and tasted sooo good! :).....no guilt either LOL!
I also have a potentially new little girl for the daycare. Her mom is a go-getter, single parent, pursing her masters in social work and working while raising two teenagers and a adolescent. I've been there and done that while raising four kids. It can definitely be a challenge, but can absolutely be done! She and I talked for a very long time. Her schedule will be a bit crazy, but I really like helping people to accomplish their dream. The world is not meriful at all so we have to do whatever we can to get around some major obstacles. I am more than thrilled to help.
I feel pretty good this morning. Already have the meatloaf in the oven, cooked a pot of rice and the green beans were done yesterday. My grandson is doing quite well. He is on the floor more and more for tummy time. Getting soooo big! In fact, it's time to go buy him another batch of clothes! He is doing well with his sleeping schedule both day and night. When the daycare kids are playing outside, I put him in the high chair and set it outside too. He gets so excited cause he wants to go play! :) Before we know it, he will be out there too.
Yes, Polly, the ice cream was just the right thing for dinner! It really hit that spot and tasted sooo good! :).....no guilt either LOL!
Monday, March 9, 2009
A Productive Weekend
The weekend was so good. My boys and I accomplished so many little things that needed to be done for such a long time. That is such a good feeling! Let's see, we stained the driveway fence, we took two loads to the thrift store, one load to the trash, swept & mopped the kitchen floors and washed the kitchen area rugs, changed the furniture around in the loft to better house the night care kids, and cleaned the boys' bathroom....whew!! As our treat for so much work, we watched movies in our pj's and with our big blankets. That was all on saturday! Sunday, we ran a few errands, picked up some burgers and went to late service.
We also took Polly's summer suggestion and had ice cream for dinner!
We also took Polly's summer suggestion and had ice cream for dinner!
Friday, March 6, 2009
A New Plan
Today, my ex called (I suppose I should call him by his name, Clovis) and suggested I move back to San Diego by the end of the summer. This suggestion, though not a bad one, caused my brain to flip-flop. It threw me for a loop because if it were that easy, I would be there already Lol! I do know him well and that is his way of having me and the kids closer so that he can better help when times get a little tough.
Clovis is not the first person who has made a few suggestions that have caused me to reflect "back". I use the term "back" because these are areas of my life I left due to major discomforts. The thought of returning brings about very mixed feelings. It's been almost four years since we moved from San Diego. A lot has changed for the better. To move back would be like stepping back into the past but as a new, different person. Kind of like visiting your old school now that you are all grown up. Just not sure.
I think I mentioned that a very, very old and dear friend of mine, David, called me the other day. He suggested I take the licensing exam again. This is still an extremely sensitive area for me. I already explained my termination from my job in '07 and having taken the exam two weeks later. I was already scheduled to take several months before being terminated. Needless to say, I failed the exam by 11 points! It was the usual 4 hour exam and I was very, very, very emotional due to loosing my job.
Long story short, it is just interesting how two people, who have known many, many years are suggesting I re-visit areas of my past. I'm not sure how I feel about that....about the actual suggestions. Personally, I feel it is their way of trying to help. For me, all is pretty well with exception of a temporary financial set back. My thoughts say, I will get a few kids for the daycare in due time and things will be ok.
I must be careful not to let someone else's need be my own.....there! Whew! Thank you for listening! Lol!
Clovis is not the first person who has made a few suggestions that have caused me to reflect "back". I use the term "back" because these are areas of my life I left due to major discomforts. The thought of returning brings about very mixed feelings. It's been almost four years since we moved from San Diego. A lot has changed for the better. To move back would be like stepping back into the past but as a new, different person. Kind of like visiting your old school now that you are all grown up. Just not sure.
I think I mentioned that a very, very old and dear friend of mine, David, called me the other day. He suggested I take the licensing exam again. This is still an extremely sensitive area for me. I already explained my termination from my job in '07 and having taken the exam two weeks later. I was already scheduled to take several months before being terminated. Needless to say, I failed the exam by 11 points! It was the usual 4 hour exam and I was very, very, very emotional due to loosing my job.
Long story short, it is just interesting how two people, who have known many, many years are suggesting I re-visit areas of my past. I'm not sure how I feel about that....about the actual suggestions. Personally, I feel it is their way of trying to help. For me, all is pretty well with exception of a temporary financial set back. My thoughts say, I will get a few kids for the daycare in due time and things will be ok.
I must be careful not to let someone else's need be my own.....there! Whew! Thank you for listening! Lol!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Oneself....
Hey Polly,
THank you so much for your encouragement. Taking care of yourselves is so important. My motivation, unfortunately, is stress. I don't like the way it feels so I strive hard to detour the feelings. We can only do our best with circumstances. Once we have done all that we can do, we have let it go until the next step comes into view. Until that point, there's no sense in pondering over it.
Considering the economy and how tough things are right now, I am doing fairly well for a single parent doing it all pretty much alone. My children's father is a very good man. We both agree, even 12 and a half years later, that we should have remained best friends. However, we have four beautiful children now. He has been very good about child support, but I make it a point to not go beyond that. Two of our four kids are no longer on child support. One will be off child support come June. THat will leave one more to go for four more years. Needless to say, this affects my income. The kids are well behaved young adults. We are very blessed considering what young people are exposed to today.
I am a warrior. I look over the horizon of life and try to prepare for upcoming battles, such as decreasing child support. That allows me to try to make adjustments. Finaces are my biggest concern. Debt scares me to the bone! I'm constantly looking over the bills, making sure there are no mistakes by the bill collector so I pay nothing extra. I am in constant contact with my bill people and have a pretty good relationship with them Lol! They track my contact with they via computer, of course. Such contact has proven good for me... small deductions along the way :).
All this said and done, including running the daycare, it is extremely important to maintain good mental functioning. As with anyone, stress can swallow us up and cause more damage to our health than we can ever imagine. I don't believe doctors always know what they are talking about, therefore, we have to be active towards our own good health as well. For example, I prefer supplements to medication. Although we have to be just as careful with supplements, they tend to have far less side effects than medication.
I encourage everyone to take care of themselves, especially if you are a parent, with or without a mate. A hot bath or shower, and getting plenty of rest, better plenty of sleep, makes a huge difference!
Carry on ladies!!
THank you so much for your encouragement. Taking care of yourselves is so important. My motivation, unfortunately, is stress. I don't like the way it feels so I strive hard to detour the feelings. We can only do our best with circumstances. Once we have done all that we can do, we have let it go until the next step comes into view. Until that point, there's no sense in pondering over it.
Considering the economy and how tough things are right now, I am doing fairly well for a single parent doing it all pretty much alone. My children's father is a very good man. We both agree, even 12 and a half years later, that we should have remained best friends. However, we have four beautiful children now. He has been very good about child support, but I make it a point to not go beyond that. Two of our four kids are no longer on child support. One will be off child support come June. THat will leave one more to go for four more years. Needless to say, this affects my income. The kids are well behaved young adults. We are very blessed considering what young people are exposed to today.
I am a warrior. I look over the horizon of life and try to prepare for upcoming battles, such as decreasing child support. That allows me to try to make adjustments. Finaces are my biggest concern. Debt scares me to the bone! I'm constantly looking over the bills, making sure there are no mistakes by the bill collector so I pay nothing extra. I am in constant contact with my bill people and have a pretty good relationship with them Lol! They track my contact with they via computer, of course. Such contact has proven good for me... small deductions along the way :).
All this said and done, including running the daycare, it is extremely important to maintain good mental functioning. As with anyone, stress can swallow us up and cause more damage to our health than we can ever imagine. I don't believe doctors always know what they are talking about, therefore, we have to be active towards our own good health as well. For example, I prefer supplements to medication. Although we have to be just as careful with supplements, they tend to have far less side effects than medication.
I encourage everyone to take care of themselves, especially if you are a parent, with or without a mate. A hot bath or shower, and getting plenty of rest, better plenty of sleep, makes a huge difference!
Carry on ladies!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Victorious Muttling
Despite the muttling and stuggling, the week has been victorious...so far. It was quite a difficult start on monday. Being a single parent, sometimes, one has to do some self-pampering and nurturing in order to get ourselves back on our feet both physically and emotionally. So, a few spa baths and supplements later with a few good restful nights, I'm back in the captian's seat. Last week was a huge struggle....its a girl thang, that's all I can say. This week is back to normal...whatever normal may be cause it is definitely relative, Lol!
Well, I am still down two children in the daycare, but I am definitely enjoying little Tyler. He is an extremely bright little boy who knows his letters, numbers and shapes all by random identification. We spent much of the day doing projects. Since he likes the sky and it is rainy season with gray skies today, I helped him to make a mobile. Afterwards, we did some fine motor exercises by writing his letters and doing some coloring. He is such a delight to watch! Awesome facial expressions. We are working on expanding his extremely limited array of food choices. Very, very picky. We are making efforts to add a different food each week. Last week was peanut butter and jelly...what little one doesn't like peanut butter and jelly....Tyler, Lol! This week it is apple slices, with no skin of course. He is doing very well considering he's never had them before to my knowledge.
It's been a comfortable day. My own symptoms are at a minimum lately. Feels really good. I've been slacking on my stretches because I've been in such discomfort. Kinda a catch 22. Stretches help relieve the discomfort, but if too much discomfort, can't perform the stretches. Feeling good today. Can't overdo it.
I really enjoy reading the blogs, helps make the day a bit more exciting. Keep them going ladies!
Always, Presious
Well, I am still down two children in the daycare, but I am definitely enjoying little Tyler. He is an extremely bright little boy who knows his letters, numbers and shapes all by random identification. We spent much of the day doing projects. Since he likes the sky and it is rainy season with gray skies today, I helped him to make a mobile. Afterwards, we did some fine motor exercises by writing his letters and doing some coloring. He is such a delight to watch! Awesome facial expressions. We are working on expanding his extremely limited array of food choices. Very, very picky. We are making efforts to add a different food each week. Last week was peanut butter and jelly...what little one doesn't like peanut butter and jelly....Tyler, Lol! This week it is apple slices, with no skin of course. He is doing very well considering he's never had them before to my knowledge.
It's been a comfortable day. My own symptoms are at a minimum lately. Feels really good. I've been slacking on my stretches because I've been in such discomfort. Kinda a catch 22. Stretches help relieve the discomfort, but if too much discomfort, can't perform the stretches. Feeling good today. Can't overdo it.
I really enjoy reading the blogs, helps make the day a bit more exciting. Keep them going ladies!
Always, Presious
Monday, March 2, 2009
Back from the Weekend
Well,
My daughter felt I needed a break from the baby and decided to take him over to our friends house. I had my reservations for several reasons, however, he is her child and I let her decide. In the end, I did appreciate the break. Unfortunately, friday night that he was gone, I had a series of busy, not bad, dreams and I woke up exhausted. I do remember the dreams but do not see the relevance to my life....I guess I do, thinking about it.
Saturday, very dear friend of mine came up from San Diego (my old home town) and took me back there for an overnight trip. We went to dinner then just hung out the rest of the time. It was so awesome. I did not realize how much I needed to take a break. My teenage boys kept the baby while my daughter went to work. They did an awesome job and kept in contact with me every step of the way. Proved interesting for my boys. They now have just a wee bit more appreciation for how much work it takes to take care of a baby, run a daycare and keep the house going all at the same time! LOL! I feel so much better starting the week today.
When I got back home, my grandson was so glad to see his Nana that he wouldn't let me too far out of his sight! I got lots of smiles from him! Kids are so amazing from the cradle all the way up to teens and beyond.
My daughter felt I needed a break from the baby and decided to take him over to our friends house. I had my reservations for several reasons, however, he is her child and I let her decide. In the end, I did appreciate the break. Unfortunately, friday night that he was gone, I had a series of busy, not bad, dreams and I woke up exhausted. I do remember the dreams but do not see the relevance to my life....I guess I do, thinking about it.
Saturday, very dear friend of mine came up from San Diego (my old home town) and took me back there for an overnight trip. We went to dinner then just hung out the rest of the time. It was so awesome. I did not realize how much I needed to take a break. My teenage boys kept the baby while my daughter went to work. They did an awesome job and kept in contact with me every step of the way. Proved interesting for my boys. They now have just a wee bit more appreciation for how much work it takes to take care of a baby, run a daycare and keep the house going all at the same time! LOL! I feel so much better starting the week today.
When I got back home, my grandson was so glad to see his Nana that he wouldn't let me too far out of his sight! I got lots of smiles from him! Kids are so amazing from the cradle all the way up to teens and beyond.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)