Back to Normal! Yay!

Though the vacation time was great, it feels good to be back to normal. I do, however, still have my upcoming cruise to look forward to. Believe it or not, it still hasn't hit me that it is a "real" vacation for me. Sad huh? lol! I don't think it will hit me until I am walking onto the ship! lol!

I haven't made any new year's resolutions. I only vow to do the best I can each and every day :). I want to appreciate each day, one at a time. The idea is to take off the pressure of any expectations. That way, I won't feel like such a failure when I don't achieve a specific goal :). Just to do my best. That's it.

Yes, the pain is gone, however, I caught a cold which, it too is almost gone. My voice is almost gone. Really rather comical! lol! Unfortunately, due to this cold, I did absolutely nothing for new year's. I laid in bed and watched the silly box!

Overall, we are off to a good start to the new year!

Happy thoughts and prayers

Holiday Weekend

The weekend started out pretty blah. Lately, I've been having several episodes of pain. Thankfully, I had a four day weekend and was able to take some time to do a crash course in pain relief. It took 3 days to recover, but I did :).

My boys bought me a full body massage pad that fits into your recliner. It works absolutely wonderfully! I took a hot bath and rested on the pad. It was soooo nice! By sunday, I was back to my old self.

I managed to make about 4 more poster signs for the daycare. My son went out yesterday, sunday, and put them up. About 20 mins after being done, I get a phone call for a set of 2 year old twins! Today is the interview. They are in a family of 9, so I am working with them to find a payment that would work for both me and them. Today's economay is tough.

It's monday and I feel pretty good. Still feeling a little bit of fatigue. Will take it easy.

Happy thoughts and prayers.

Crazy Morning

It has been a crazy but fun morning today. My girlfriend recently lost her job. Her laptop has been giving her grief so she came over here to send out her resume to a few prospects. Then came my neighbor from across the street who wanted to have tea this morning. Then entered my daughter from work who decided to cook breakfast :).

My daughter decided to offer the rest of us breakfast and we ate and had tea/coffee. It was wonderful! Usually, I don't handle entertaining well at all. Apparently, it's not considered "entertaining" when it's just a few close friends and family hanging out lol! We plan to do it again tomorrow with everyone bringing something towards making breakfast :).

I got up early for an early arrival of one of my day care kids, and I managed to complete another poster. My son went out to put it up today. The parent that gets the poster boards for me, brought a whole stack of them yesterday. I plan to make as many as I can over the weekend. It takes time to draw out the words and balloons (balloons are my logo), but it is relaxing and fun. I'm looking forward to it.

Update on the modification for my mortgage. I finally mailed the paperwork, with the first check, yesterday. They have lowered my mortgage to $1537.50 from $3320.00. This is for a 3-month trial period to see if I can handle this payment. If not, then that's it, it's over. If so, which I will, then the take another 30 days to finalize the numbers. I am comfortable with this figure. However, I absolutely must get some kids in the day care. Right now, with things as they are, the budget is tight, but doable. That's not comfortable for me. I don't want to be "rich", I just want to be able to pay my bills and have a few dollars in case an emergency happens.

Keep the faith. Think happy thoughts! :)

Winter Weather

A few days ago, we had some really nice rain. It was perfect. Not too much and not too little. Winds were very mild until late night. Even then the winds weren't too bad.

It's interesting that the rain actually lifted my spirits. I love how it sounds as it hits different surfaces. I love the smell afterwards. I just love the rain. It's so refreshing to me.

I am enjoying, as always, the winter months. These are the months where I get a few days off each month. It is a struggle to take a vacation with the day care. November, December and January, I get 4-day weekends!

This year, I am going on my first cruise at the end of January. I'm a little nervous. I don't like water, quite afraid of it. At the same time, I am excited and very much looking forward to it. I'm a little uneasy to leave my household. Yes, my kids are older but, I guess it's a mom thing. Just not use to it. I'm sure I will be fine once I'm on my way :).

Soooo Much Better!

Oh wow! I can't believe how much better I feel these days. I thank you all for your support!

I had to really sit down and ask myself what was going on, why was I allowing this to go on for so long? I was just in such dislike of how I was feeling. It took some tears and some journaling, but things have turned around. I am doing so much better!

The other night, my son came to me after taking his bath, and said, "Mom, I don't have any clean underwear." Of course, I had told him a few days prior to take his dirty laundry down to the laundry room which he did not lol! He was not amused when I told him he could borrow a pair of my undies! LOL!

Today, he's not feeling too well with an ear ache in both ears. You know how teenagers can be. They don't want to bundle up in the cold. He was feeling really bad last night. Today he is a wee bit better. He is actually lying down! That's saying alot for him!

I decided to make my own daycare advertisements for the side of the road in hopes of gaining a few kids. One of my parents works for a sign company and he was able to spare a few boards for me that were going into the trash. I'm not the greatest artist, but I think it gets the point across :). So far, my son and I put of two of them at the main intersection near out house. I still have one more to make.

I've been working on the letter "L" with the daycare kids. This week, we painted out ladybugs. My grandson really enjoyed his!

Yes, the paint is non-toxic lol! He's fine although I did clean his mouth out immediately!...:) These are the results! His is on the far right.

In My Absence

I've been spending some time thinking about alot of things, mainly my place in life. For a while now, things have seemed so out of control. It's really not a good feeling. I've been taking some time to really slow down and try to get my thoughts together. Not an easy task.

I've started journaling again to try to trace, and keep track of, my thoughts. I have always liked the physical act of writing. Putting my thoughts on paper makes me a little uncomfortable as someone might accidently get a hold of them. However, I do find it quite helpful. My other tool is that of prayer. Yes, I am a strong Christian with very strong faith. I've been attempting to get back into crotcheting as well. It has always proven relaxing for me. It also allows me to think things through. Quite naturally, my hot baths always do the trick for relaxation.

Basically, I think I have been fighting against myself, kind of throwing an emotional trantrum i.e. depression, grumpy, irritable, isolation when I can, etc. Not a good feeling. My grandmother would always say, "If you don't like the way you feel, then change it." I just wasn't happy with anything. Seem like I just "wanted" to be that way, then be upset for doing so!

I've been slowing down and looking directly at those things that cause me ill feelings. I think much of it stems from the condition of the world, the government and the effects on us as everyday people, from taxes to mortgages. I can only do what I can in my own little world. My effort is to try to see exactly what it is or why "it" causes me to feel that way. I've been listening very intensely at the experiences of other people. Like everyone else, I have my share, however, there's always someone who's worse off than you. I've been watching and listening at how others handle hardship. My faith restores my hope.

It's just one step at a time. When I feel frustrated, I stop and talk to myself in effort to calm myself. I've only gotten a hand on this during the past week or so. I do feel alot better.

Much prayer and positive thoughts :)

Feeling Much Better....

First I want to say "thank you" to the ladies that sent such supportive messages. They brought me to tears...for real! I am much better. I think I had a severe case of pms blues. For the most part, I've put things into perspective. I am quite the emotional type and I really dislike it so very much.

On a happier note, I am excited about cooking thanksgiving dinner. I am almost done with everything except for the yams and getting the turkey into the oven, which is the very last thing. Problem with getting a head start on the cooking is that you want to eat everything before it the occasion! LOL! I am quite excited to have my kids around me this season :).

I find it so interesting how when we are under a hardship, we can find creative ways to stretch our resources. I was thinking about this as I was cooking because we, here in California, are having a water shortage. So, one of the ways to save water is to wash dishes using two pans, one for washing and one for rinsing. I take it a step further by heating the rinse water on the stove to use it for wash water. Then take the wash water and water the lawn. :) We Americans can be very wasteful people!

As for an update on the modification for my house, it looks really good. The actual mortgage payment will be decreased from $3295 to $2234. This will only be for one year because I owe two years of property taxes from when I lost my job. After one year, it drops to $1735/mo. which means I will be current on everything! If I can endure this one year, I will be in good standing.

Please send prayers and positive thoughts! :)