Close Call!

Wow! I thought I lost my entire blog site!!!

When I turned on my computer and signed it, my blog went way back to January 3, 2009. I was so upset. I thought I had lost all my friends and my entries.

See, this is why we have kids....lol! My daughter figured out that, somehow, I created another blog, with the same blog, when I forgot my pass word. I went in and created another one, I guess, and it took me to the same blog, just back dated to January 2009. It was crazy! When she figured it all out, I was sooooo relieved!...yaaaah! It feels good to be back!

I have finally cleaned the inside of my motorhome! I have been considering selling her, but before doing so, I wanted to look at her condition and really think about it. Recently, I had her tuned up, oil changed and an overall check up. Mechanic said she's in good shape for such an old RV, 1977. She has absolutely no power and is extremely slow!...lol! I don't think I would trust her to make that trip from San Diego to San Francisco again....then again, she might be fine. Still thinking bout that one.

I spent time cleaning the inside and making minor repairs. I will need about $700 to get her fulling up to operation. She needs a muffler, shocks, one new tire and two vents replaced. The thing about the tire is, my rims are old and the tires are hard to find unless I order them at like $170 per tire. So, I found 3 mildly used. I just need one more. I do have a place who has 4, but he doesn't want to break up the set. At $35 per tire, I think I will do well to buy all of them and just hold on to the others as spares. The vents are fairly expensive to have installed at$120 per hour. So, I will purchase them. My son offered to try to put them in. If not, then my mechanic said he would do it. That should save me a few dollars even if the mechanic charges me something :-D

This weekend, I took of both friday and monday for the Memorial Day holiday. Boy was it worth it! I got a lot of things done that I had been putting off for a while. I finally took my son shopping for clothes which he needed very badly. My kids really came together and got up with my grandson so that I could sleep in a little bit. I did learn that, if I sleep beyond 7:30am that I become extremely tired and stiff.

Overall, it was an awesome weekend

Positive thoughts and prayers

Ladies of Inspiration

Ladies,
I just want to say thank you to all of you who have responded to my situation regarding my home. It is truly a difficult position to be in.

Saz,
I want to tell you how proud of you I am. I have been where you are. It takes tremendous strength and courage to make such a transition. I am inspired by you. You give me hope.

Linda,
You are a woman of strength to me. I love your perspective on life. You have such a nice twist to everyday, mundane situations, from family to jobs to your own personal self. You make feel good that I am not alone and that I am truly "normal"....lol!

Sniffles,
I thank you for your cyber hugs. I read your entry and began to cry. Why? I do not know. All I know is your words really touched my heart. You are an amazing woman with all that you are going through.

Polly,
You remind me of myself when I was young with my own children. You are an awesome mom. Your children will grow to be fine young adults one day.

Mama Fargo,
I really like the way you think below the surface of things, especially regarding children and family. It all starts in the home. It was once said something to the effect of "Psychosis is not born, it is created". Our life experiences during upbringing are critical. They can not be prevented, nor can one have a perfect life. However, these experiences, both positive and negative need to be nurtured by loving adults. These adults don't have to be biological, just loving.

"Cut & Dry" ,
You have an amazing positive energy that is felt through your entries. Your photography is beautiful and uplifting. Thank you for sharing that with me. I smile every time I read your replies :).

"Elvie Studio",
Your creativity warms me inside every time I see what you have made. You have inspired me to take the time to "look" for and reactivate my own creativity. In fact, I brought my crotcheting out today to continue a project I started a few months ago. My grandson is still wearing those funny looking little slippers I made for him...lol! I am also looking at making wall hangings with drawings on them (I use to draw in my young adult years). Thank you for being so positive.

Those whom I have not mentioned, thank you too for all your positive thoughts and prayers.

Last Night

Last night I had a horrible episode of fibro. It actually cause me to be a little afraid. It was quite sudden. The day was going along fairly well. I was aware of my senses and thought I was using caution. Early evening, my heart rate increased a bit and I had mild bouts of loss of breath. Yes, this is normal for fibro. As the evening continued, I became truly fatigued. It wasn't like a "heavy" feeling like cement in your shoes. Rather, it was more like my body had a light inner lining of weight just beneath my skin, kinda inbetween my skin and my muscles. I know this doesn't make much sense, but that's the best way I can descibe it. It's very similar to having the flu but without the chills.

I cancelled bible study and decided to lay down. My daughter took my grandson with her to open house for her 4th graders. She is doing her teaching credential program with 4th graders. I did have one late night kid but he is really well behaved. He played in the loft right outside my bedroom.

Once I laid down, the symptoms just seem to rise to the surface of my skin. My daughter was gone for about a good hour. I laid down pretty much the whole time. When she returned, my 15 year old son prepared my grandson for bed and occupied him for about 20 mins. Then I put him to down for the night.

The evening went quite smoothly which is exactly what I needed. By 8pm, I had put on my pj's and was dozing off. It was really nice to be able to give myself permission to take these little brief naps. By the time the mother of my late nighter arrived, the fatigue in my body had subsided down to a throb in my head. Once he was gone, I immediately went to bed.

This morning, I am better. Today will be a very easy day....as easy as I can make it with the kids. This episode was sudden and very different. I can only conclude in hindsight that that "Aunt Flow" was the cause (for those of you who don't know, aunt flow is pms). She left yesterday so, I'm wondering if that had something to do with it. My symptoms are not completely gone, but they are a lot better so far. As I said, I will be taking the day as easy as possible.

Feeling it today....

Sometimes I literally forget I have fibromyalsia. For the most part, I handle it through supplements and hot baths/heating pad. However, when the weather changes from hot or warm to rain/moisture or when it is really hot like in the summer, I really feel the symptoms regardless of the supplements. When this happens, the hot baths are what usually work really well. Unfortuantely, I can't run upstairs and take a hot bath in the middle of running a child care...lol!...no, not even at naptime because I'm afraid to leave them alone for too long. That's how emergencies happen.

In addition to the pain, are the sensitivity to sound and light. Just take a moment to think about that with regards to a house full of children. As far as the light goes, I just pull a few of the blinds down while leaving a few up. Dim lit rooms can dampen ones spirit. As for the noise, kids are kids and it can be extremely difficult to quiet them down. I must admit, I do have a very good group of kids. I try to explain to them that Ms. Lori is not feeling well and that using our inside voices is really important. They typically respond well to a simple "Shhh". Outdoor play helps tremendously...lol! Allows them to burn their energy and get it all out.

By end of the day, my grandson is pretty rumbundious with lots of energy and very, very loud. Not a lot to do with a 19 month old little boy...lol!...except look forward to his bedtime at 7:30pm so he can get up at 6:20am to begin all over again...lol!

Positive thoughts and prayers

Paper in the Mail

A few days ago, I received that date of sale notice from the bank for my home. Yes, my heart must have skipped 10 beats! I immediately contacted my rep who assured me they can prevent the sale of my home as long as the modification process is still active. My thing is, the bank itself said I do not qualify for any of their programs, including their in-house program. So, I'm just wondering what more can be done.

No, I don't want to loose my house, but it gets hard "hanging in there" holding my breath, wondering whether or not I will have to find a place to live for my family. There's a lot to consider with such a move in today's economy. I will admit, should I loose the house, a large part of me would be relieved because, at this point, I owe so much on the house. I don't like that kind of debt. I've lost jobs twice which has significant contribution to my current financial situation. Each job admitted it was not due to anything I had done wrong. "It wasn't personal." I really do not want to go back in to the work force for fear of that happening again.

In a nutshell, I wish this thing would go one way or the other once and for all. If the mod. goes through, I can handle the monthly payments that they have me set for. If I should have to move, I'm thinking rent for a 3 bedroom would be about the same if not a little more. So either way, I believe I can handle the monthly payment. However, if have to move, finding a place would be a major issue. These days, landlords, understandably so, require a good credit score. With a modification, I'm not sure what my credit score would look like, therefore, influencing my chances of finding a place to live.

Happy thoughts and prayers!.....it's not over yet! :-D

Wonderful Weekend

I still don't know what's going on with the house. I will be making some phone calls today, along with some emails. I'm thinking if there was anything wrong, he would've contacted me by now, however, there is the chance that he may not have looked into it yet.

This weekend was totally awesome. My oldest boy came up from San Diego...actually, I had my middle boy go pick him up :-D. Just having "all" my kids at home made for an absolutely wonderful mother's day. My boys got together and when shopping for dinner on saturday night. They prepared shrimp alfredo with a nice salad...yum! yum! They did a wonderful job! Actually, I did not know my oldest, who orchestrated it all, can cook so well! My daughter brought me flowers.

The next morning my oldest boy got up prepared a nice breakfast of french toast, scramble eggs with tomatoes and shredded potatoes. Oh...my....goodness! It tasted sooooo good!

My mom's day was pretty simple. We sat down and talked a lot about everything. I did not realize my kids, especially my oldest boy, is so worried about my health. He is literally afraid for me dying. Of course, we talked about the fact that everyone dies. I think he is truly seeing how much I do and how stressed I become at times. All I can say is life goes on. When it's my time, it's just my time.

I really don't have a problem with dying. I just would like to see "all" my kids thriving in this difficult life before my time is up. I don't mean to sound so crude, I just don't want my kids worried about me. I want them to focus on their lives and their futures. They will all be just fine.