Good News and Bad News

Good News:

I received a letter from my little friend in prison :). Yes, I am very happy. It turns out, as I was concerned about, he was having some trouble with the other inmates and had to be transferred to go to court. Things were quite unsettled for a while.

He said since things had settled down, that he was thinking about me and our sessions back at the Hall. He was getting ready to have a family member look me up when he received my letter. I feel good knowing he is ok. He had said, on our last appointment at juvenile hall, that he was concerned and a little bit scared of going to prison. Prison is not like juvenile hall. Prison is with some very serious criminals. He's alone and still very young. I plan to write him very soon. He anxious to hear from me again. Hopefully, I can provide him with some encouragement. He has 7 more years to go!

Bad/Good News:

The two new kids are gone. Mom's work schedule just did not work for me. There was no way I would be able to work both saturday and sunday for 12 hour shifts. It was just too much. I did not realize how exhausted I was until I did not have the kids this past weekend. I was so tired that my body ached all over.

The bad news is, I am back looking for kids again. I am back to being concerned about the budget. I am also concerned about the 4 year old boy. Mom called me this morning to tell me how he did with his new sitter. Not good at all. He was throwing tantrums, screaming at the top of his voice, throwing toys, kicking walls, just very much out of control. The sitter called her, at work, 7 times over the weekend. She is trying a new sitter today. I feel bad because he did not act that way for me. I did not get that behavior from him. I have told his mom, several times, that it seems he is so misunderstood by other people. He requires a little more time than the average kid...just a little more time :(. Poor baby.

My door is kind of open as a last resort. We talked about me having the kids every day except thursday evenings, so I can go to bible study, and the weekends. So, we will see how things work out.

Staying Afloat

I haven't blogged in a quite a while. Been so busy since I've gotten the two new kids. Their mom's schedule is extremely crazy. At first, I told her we will see how the weekends go. I can see saturday if that is her work schedule. However, sunday is another thing. After trying it on sundays for a few weeks, I have concluded, sundays will not work. With all my openings filled, and all the varied work schedules of the parents, I am working, literally, 7 days per week! It's crazy! I let her know, effective January 1st, I will be closed on sundays.

Friday, one of my the kids' father was laid off of his job. Unfortunately, friday was her last day. On the positive side, just thursday, I received a phone call from a parent who had been tracking me on my website. She saw my name, which just so happens to be the same last name as theirs. So, they gave me a call and we spoke for a long time. My last name is from my marriage. Turns out our family roots are from the same city and state. They live just a few blocks away from me now.

On saturday, the whole family came over to discuss both the family and daycare!...lol; both grandparents, the mother (dad was sleeping, he works at night as a sheriff), auntie and the two boys. It was such a nice visit :). They have two boys, 2 and 7 years old. They will only need care for a few days per week. There may be a problem with the 7 year old because I have another after school pick up at the same time. We will have to talk more about that.

It felt good that there was another potential family available after loosing another....they haven't decided as of yet. So, we will see.

I've been so busy lately that I haven't been working much on my crotcheting. A little disappointing, but I am taking care of myself and staying focused. I feel balanced spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physcially. I am one who has a tendency towards depression and anxiety. Balance is very important to my life. I spend a great deal of time, throughout the day, checking on each of these areas of my life.

I find that tiredness/exhaustion leads very quickly to depression which leads to anxiety. Pacing myself throughout the day is extremely important. Making daily to-do lists makes a huge difference. I see and track my progress; what has been completed and what still needs to be done. Leaves me with a great sense of accomplishment. I feel less overwhelmed. Hot baths help with physical aspects and relaxation. Supplements also help with nutrition and repleshment.

My Grandson's A Year Old Now!

My grand baby is a year old already :). We just had a small family gathering at the park. Family came from San Diego, Moreno Valley, and Los Angeles to Lake Elsinore for our sweet little boy. It went very well. He was quite sleepy just prior to going. He had not had his nap for the day :(. He had been shopping with mommie for his outfit and his gifts.

Once we arrived at the park, he was awake and ready to go! He really enjoyed playing and eating his cake. His father (a sensitive subject that I won't discuss at this moment) was there as well. His father's family was there, which turned out to be very nice. All the grandparents were able to visit for the first time! It was quite exciting. (His dad is adopted from birth by his aunt and uncle, but he calls them mom and dad).












I had two day care kids on this day. They enjoyed themselves as well. Everything went very smoothly. Yes, he got plenty of toys! Mommie is very good about developmental toys to help him grow. Grandma-Maria got him his potty chair :) although it is a tad too soon to start potty training...lol! She's a very good grandma.


For a rare moment, I was able to see happiness in my daughter's eyes as she smiled upon her son. Though he was an unexpected surprise, he has definitely added a huge amount of happiness to her life. My grandson is a very much loved baby.

A Reminder

As I sit here, with the late nighters watching a movie, I am reading some blogs. I came across topiarycow. blog regarding the bug in her tea, it reminded me of, not only the taranchula we found in our backyard, but also the scorpion in my bedroom.

Back when we first moved here, approximately two weeks after moving in, I saw him. My bedroom and bathroom are a rather large suit. Being that I do not like the dark (never have), I had a night light in the bathroom. The light was bright enough to shine dimly into the bedroom.

About 3:00 am, I had to go potty. As I walk across my bedroom towards the bathroom, I catch a very faint shadow of movement across the floor. At this time of the morning, you would think I wasn't quite coherent. My mind clicked real fast when I turned to see what it was. Yes, I was initially in shock until I turned on the light. Sure 'nough it was a scorpion! My bedroom is upstairs! I could not and still cannont comprehend how he got all the way upstairs! I quickly grabbed the cub from the medicine cabinet and a piece of paper. I put the cup over him, then slid the paper under the cup to get him into the cup. I took him and flushed him down the toilet. Needless to say, my sleep was not peaceful!

A few months later, we had one with the light cover in the kitchen. The light is a fluorescent light and quite long. The cover is like a large bun that covers the lights themselves and is very bright. We were in the kitchen and we here this subtle scratching sound. We look up and there was another one! I left this one in the light fixture for several days until I was able to get a friend of mine to get him down. I certainly wasn't going to do it!

It totally creeped me out. I thought they were pretty poisonous until I called and asked an exterminator. Their sting is supposed to be pretty intense and lasts somewhere in the range of 8 hours. However, they are supposedly harmless.

These scorpions were almost clear, kind of beige in color and their tails were definitely curled upward as if ready to attack. If I had not gotten up to go potty, where might I have found him...or he hav found me?!

Much Appreciation

I want to thank you girls for responding to my blog regarding my little friend/client in prison.

From my experience of working in juvenile hall, it can take a while for a letter to arrive, go through inspection and finally be given to the inmate. A lot of illegal items go through the mail of the prison system. So, it is very understandable. However, the wait can be a bit trying on one's patience :). Then I have to wait for the process to go in reverse when/if he writes me back. It will be awhile before I know.

I did call today and was able to leave a message for the therapist on his unit. He may not be receiving therapy. It would be his choice. A lot of the time, inmates don't trust therapist. It took a lot for him to trust me in the beginning. It's just the nature of their lifestyle. The good news is, he doesn't have to be in therapy in order for the therapist to let him know that I left a message for him.

I am very excited. The wait and anticipation is very difficult. I feel like I am holdling my breath...lol! Keep in mind, he might not want to contact me. He may feel that I have abandoned him. Then again, if anyone would look for him, he knew it would be me.

Time will tell! The wait is on!

A Surprise For Myself

I don't know if I ever shared this with any of my friends in blog world. When I was a therapist in the security unit of juvenile hall, there was a particular young man whom I had grown fond of. He was a young boy who had been through some great losses in his life. When he was 5 years old, walking to the store with his father, his father was shot by a stray bullet and fell dead in front of him.

This young man is not a violent young man. His mom really wasn't there for him in a way he needed her to be. Often times, when they were very young, she would leave him and his brother home for days all alone. They'd only have cereal and milk to eat and were responsible for getting themselves up for school each morning. They were in elementary school at the time.

When the cereal and milk ran out, they had learned to steal in order to get more food. From there, they began stealing bigger things from clothes to cars. Then, he began to rob people and to sell drugs in a major way. He was only 17 when I met him in juvenile hall. He was not in a gang, but had learned to hussle in an extremely illegal fashion.

As a therapist working with high offense young men, you find that at one time they were good boys just like our own sons. Some are remorseful such as this young man. Once he took a walk back into his childhood, he began to see how and why is life went so wrong. Now he's paying a high price for it. He got 9 years in prison.

He was transfer to state prison about a month before I was terminated from the job. He has been on my mind since then. I remember him being so afraid to go alone. He said he's be ok if I were to go and still be his therapist. Unfortunately, that's not how life works. He did develop some coping skills to take with him, but without reinforcement, how well has he done? He had become like a son to me.

Well, good news is, I found him today, or should I say, I found out what prison he is in. I just want to drop him a few lines to see how he is doing. His family wasn't very supportive and made promises to visit him in juvenile hall but never showed up. Often times, he would sadly say, "Ms. Lori, I wish you were my mom."

So, I took the time to write him a letter. It can take a while before I receive a letter back. Prison may have changed him and he may not want to have any contact with me or he may not remember me. It's been two years. A lot can happen in that length of time.

We will see....positive thoughts.

Everything On The Mark

What a wonderful feeling when you review the budget and the bills for the month and find everything right on task!....whew! It's tight, but it's working. That's when doing your job is worth the struggle. The accounts look good for the second week of the month.

If things stay straight, I will have the money for the modification on the house in no time. Patience! Patience! Patience! It is truly a virtue worth developing! The reward is awesome!

It takes work to hold your breath in hopes that nothing will go wrong. Definitely worth the learning!