Out of the Loop

I've been out of the loop for awhile.

Still going back and forth to San Diego to take care of my cousin. He is participating better with physical therapy. He is in a nursing home at this point. As we are having to handle his bills and his home, we are learning things have not been what they "appeared" to be.

He wants others to believe he is a "big shot" when really he isn't. Really kind of sad. He is an extremely depressed man. He kind of got stuck when his father died. He finally confirmed that verbally. While staying in the nursing home, he can't get away from his thoughts. So, he is having a flood of emotions surrounding issues he has been avoiding for many, many years. Often times, we go to see him and he is quite emotional with tears and rambling.

We did get the Power of Attorney signed so that we can pay his bills and have the roof and ceiling repaired. We can also get his car out of the repair shop too.

This past weekend, I had to be very, very patient. He has become verbally abusive. Apparently, he had seen an eye doctor just before he became sick who told him he has mild catarax. In addition, he had just had his dental partial adjusted but it is hurting his mouth. Well, on sunday afternoon, he was trying to "demand" to be taken to the eye doctor and the dentist.

I tried to explain to him that an appointment has to be made and we can take him, but that nothing could be done on a sunday. All the businesses are closed on sunday. He raised his voice and told me to take him "Now! or to be quiet!" At that point, we were sitting outside in the beautiful weather, I decided to take him back to his room, return him to his bed and prepared to leave.

I live an hour away and had arranged to stay in San Diego for the weekend to be there for him. I was done. I understand he is frustrated, but you don't bite the hand that feeds you! Grrrr!!! I have set my own family and household aside for the past 3 weeks to travel to him, to deal with staff and all his needs. I think I will take a break this upcoming weekend.

In between taking care of my cousin, my two oldest boys having been having a few issues of their own. My oldest of the two, who was living with their dad, finally had enough of dad and got put out of his house. My son is staying with a friend while looking for a second job so he can purchase a car and get a place of his own. He doesn't want to come back to Lake Elsinore. He'd rather stay in San Diego. I admire his determination. I believe he will be fine.

My other son, second oldest of my boys, was driving on the freeway, to work, when his whole wheel came off of his car. Said it was something about the bearings. Yes, he is ok. He was able to retrieve the tire that was still on the rim. We had him towed to his job which is a mechanic place. The part he needs to fix it is no longer available so he has to go to the junk yard and get it. In the meantime, he is driving my car to school and work....Good thing I got it fixed huh? Lol!

On a positive note, my daughter should be able to purchase her first house in a few months. This is very exciting. She is doing well in her credential program for becoming a teacher as well. My youngest boy, is doing well too.

My very small motorhome is finally repaired and ready to get new tires, well used tires...they are cheaper. I little bit at a time so I won't spend too much money. It"s been in repair for about 3 months cause I am paying a little bit at a time. The day care is doing well, has been stable for the past few months. I've just paid the last month of the trial period for the mortgage modification. We will see what happens next.

Yesterday, I was extremely anxious. Anxiety is not good. I was so bad until I called to make an appointment with a therapist. I feel really good about that. I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately and depressed. I think my cousin is bringing up some old issues for me as well.

Well, I will do my best to stay in touch. Positive thoughts and prayers!

End of the Week

Today is quite an easy day :). Only have two kids plus my grandson. Love the holidays! Timing could not be better. Pms arrived yesterday morning. So far, so good. Mild symptoms. All in all, my energy is good with only slight grumpiness :). No pain from either fibro or pms. That is great!

I am desiring to begin a new crotchet project of a child's blanket. This would be nice to help me relax and feel productive in a personal way. My grandson is still wearing his slippers I made for him. They truly work in keeping his feel nice and warm and his socks a lot cleaner!

The tree in the front yard seems to be doing well so far. A few of the branches are drooping just slightly. It was suggested to put vitamin B-1 for newly planted trees on the roots. I've been doing that once a week. I think she will be fine.

I "finally" put my car in the shop to get the heater core repaired...YAY! I will finally have some heat when I drive the car :-D! I've been wearing my jacket, my hat and using a blanket over my lap just to stay warm when I take my kid to school or to San Diego. Yes, I have the van, a full size, 1990, V8 engine gas guzzler! I love my van cause it is so big, but he uses twice the gas that the car does. So, certain trips, I prefer to use the car....with only a few adjustments LOL! It took a while to save up the money, but I did it.

I'm rather confused about my cousin and his condition. I think I am too close to help him to be objective about what needs to be done for him. Doctor thinks depression is the cause for his lack of participation in physical therapy and for him not eating. I know him to be extremely private and truly not liking to be told what to do. He is 66 years old and, as most older people, set in his ways. He is very coherent so he understands what is going on. I find helping him to make decisions to be quite frustrating. He is loosing weight and getting physically more weak. I would truly hate for his health to deteriorate due to his own stubbornness. I am going to go visit him tomorrow, saturday. We will see how things go from there.

Well, that is all the excitement in my little life :-D. Happy weekend to everyone.

Positive thoughts and prayers!

Progress....

I drove an hour to San Diego last night after the daycare closed at 7:00pm. It rained alot and very hard. I felt quite anxious to get to my cousin. Since he has had his stroke a week and a half ago, he has been having a series of seizures. Doctor says, this is normal when the brain has been traumatize by a stroke.

I am the closest relative to him and I am an hour away. He has been refusing to eat because his family is not around him. So, he asked the doctor to call me. He sounded quite groggie but I explained to him I would be down to see him that night. I felt anxious all day long as I waited for the daycare to close so I could leave.

Once arriving, he did not look like himself at all. He did not have his teeth in his mouth and he had not shaved. In all my childhood and adulthood, I have never seen him this way. At first, it frightened me. Then I put it into perspective.

The nurse was in the process of giving him his medications, which he was not cooperating. I asked her if I can do it. I was firm with him and he did take them. Often, I don't think nurses are caring enough. They tend to be overworked with many patience and don't have the time to be nurturing. This made me feel worse because I am so far away and unable to get to him like I'd like to. He is also refusing to eat.

I just spoke to the nurse today. I had a few complaints as to how they are doing things with him. It seems very 20 mins they are waking him up to check temperature, urine, give meds, etc. They pull the blankets off of him. They flip on those bright lights in his face. It seems to me they can do all those things at once and be done so he can go to sleep. I arrived about 8:40pm. They kept coming in there, at different intervals, until I left at 10:20pm! Then they get him up early in the morning for physical therapy and he is still groggie. He has not truly slept since he's been in there. In addition, they give him something to make him sleep and he is unable to sleep it off after being interrupted every 20 mins!

So, when I spoke with the nurse today, I let her know, I want the doctor to call me back as soon as he can and I want to be included in the meeting they are having on monday via conference call. The nurse asked me if I put in a complaint to the head nurse. I did not know about all that. This is my first time having to be the decision maker of a family member. When my mom died, my aunt did it.

I will wait to talk to the doctor. In the meantime, I will try to calm my anger. I am really upset. I'm sure it is because it is the fear of the possibility of the end if it is not handled correctly. I have to get my perspective back in focus.

Happy thoughts and prayers....lots!

Figured It Out

Wow! All this time, I'm thinking I am in pain caused by the stress of adjusting to the new schedule....hmmmm. I got to thinking. I've been without my supplements for about 2 weeks, procrastination. It is more likely that the reverse; the pain is causing the stress. I can't relax, can't sleep, can't rest due to the pain of the fibromyalsia. It's a constant discomfort very similar to what muscles feel like after having done a workout.

My son is off work for this evening. I had him to go pick them up. I took them immediately. Will probably take a few days to really get into my system. I also feel a bit dehydrated. Not drinking water as I use to. I'm having all the symptoms, shortness of breath, muscle discomfort, migraines, fatigue and unable to sleep well.

I look forward to getting back on track. I don't know what I was thinking. I need the supplements more at this point than ever with the new kids and the new schedule...guess I had a senior moment LOL!

Positive thoughts and prayers!

Tough Adjustment

I'm having a difficult time adjusting to the new schedule of my new kids. The kids are sooooo awesome. They are well behaved and polite. The problem is getting up at 5am, taking my son to school for 6:35am, taking the girls to school for 8:15am and, in the afternoon, picking up a child from a different school at 12:15pm. My previous schedule was getting up at 6am, never leaving the house and first kid arriving at 7am with no afternoon pick up.

Everything changed at the same time. My older son started school and his new job which caused me to have to take my younger son to school. Then, a few weeks later, the sibling set started at 5:30am.

I also have to get my grandson up that early because my daughter is not home from work until 8:30am. No one is home to keep him. As a result, my grandson is quite cranky due to loss of sleep. To make up for the sleep, I try to put him to bed earlier. This is difficult because his normal bedtime is 8pm. To put him to bed at 7pm, his mom is just getting up to go to work which her process disturbs him because he hears her between the bathroom and the bedroom. So, I thought about putting him to bed at 6 or 6:30pm, but that seems so early. Yesterday, my daughter took her shower way earlier which allowed him to have some time with her and him to get to bed about 7:30pm which not early enough. Seven pm would be much better.

I believe it is a transitional adjustment. I'm hoping it will get better in time :).

Positive thoughts and prayers :)

On a Good, Positive Roll

Things have been going soooo well lately, I don't know where to begin! :).

To begin with, the cruise was really, really nice! My girlfriends were absolutely crazy! We ate, and ate, and ate! We danced, and danced, and danced! We shopped, and shopped, and shopped! We went to Ensenda, Mexico. The staff were awesome. When I returned home, my grandson really gave me a hard time i.e. tantrums, throwing his toys, whinning a lot, etc. My daughter says he is upset because I left. He does this to her too. He only readjusted back to normal today. Took 3 days for him to accept his Nana back home. I felt bad for a while.

The tree was trimmed and put back in place. We will have to wait about a year to see if it survives. It may sound silly,but I talk to her and tell her I want her to grow back nice and strong. (The old saying is that we should talk to our plants so why not talk to our trees?).

The day care is flowing really well right now. The other sibling set of school kids did not come after all, but everything is working out fine.

It is getting late. I will write more details at another entry.

Positive thoughts and prayers :)

Everything

I was referred to another tree man by one of my day care parents. I spoke to him yesterday. He said, based on what I described, the tree can't be saved. So, we agreed to him removing the tree for $100. The other estimates were $400, $350 and $175. As I say, always trust your gut!

Well, I got to thinking... if they can tranfer, thus transplant large trees, why not "try" to replant this one? So, I called S. back and left another message. I figure he can replant it and just maybe it can be saved. If not, then we can go on and remove it. I really would like to save it if at all possible.

Good news for the day care :). Apparently, the girls' neighbor is in the same situation as they are in that, the grandparents also has custody of their two grandchildren. All the grandparents need is for the kids to be dropped off to school in the morning. It's a 10 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. So, that will leave me with 4 kids in the morning to drop off at school only :). Very easy and, for a small fee, I can use the extra cash. They start next tuesday.

I'm excited to say, we set sail on the cruise tomorrow evening :). Though I am excited, I am also slightly concerned about the stormy weather we've been having so much of lately. I would imagine that they take these factors into consideration for the safety of the people, however, the Titanic sunk...lol! This is only a very slight concern. Forgive me for my ignorance. It is my first cruise and I am very much afraid of water :). I will be packing my things tonight. Very exciting! I have alot of positives happening :). It is such a relief. However, I must stay alert. The sun shines for only a little while. Then it is time for some growing pains again. I know that sounds negative, but when times are difficult, that is when we learn, grow and become stronger. So, really, it's not negative. I will enjoy this season for now and reflect on how I have arrived here :).

Positive thoughts and prayers!...:)