Monday, March 23, 2009

Making Changes

Today was rather interesting. I spent the whole weekend calculating my time due to the prevention of depression. Today proved successful :). Somehow, I feel my depression is caused by my interpretation of the events in my life.

Saturday, my 17 year old boy surprised me by doing many chores that I had mentioned needed to be done, but as usual, I had forgotten about. It gave me such a sense of relief. So often, I feel as if I must run everything or nothing will get done. I suppose that is the oldest known statement of a mother LOL! My son remembered to put the banner up to advertise for daycare kids. He washed my car that has recently been repaired after being inoperatable for a year and 7 months, and he cut the front grass which makes the house look so much better :). Keep in mind, he is on restriction too! Saturday night, we crawled into our jammies and watched dvd's til late.

Sunday, I laid in bed all day, in my jammies, watching movies. At first, I kept telling myself, this is ridiculous and I need to get up. Then I remembered, a friend of mine once told me, that sometimes that is exactly what you need is to do "nothing" all day long. I did get up eventually to go to sunday service which I was glad I did. I took my grandson who was rather cranky.

While at services on sunday, my grandson made a biscuit in his diaper which seemed to burn his bottom :(. It concerned me a great deal because this was not like him. My first thought was his teeth. His bottom two teeth are just about ready to break through. Later that evening, he did it again. I put salve on him to prevent another occurrence.

When I spoke to my daughter about his burning bottom, she recalled having some jalapenos a few days ago (She pumps her breast milk and freezes it). Last night, he was cranky throughout the night, waking up about 4 times. This morning, he did much better. Upon making another biscuit, he is fine now :), though I think he is getting a tad bit spoiled! :)

Today went quite well as Gina, my neighbor from acoss the street dropped in for a visit. We took the boys outside (daycare kids) to play. She loves to decorate and build major projects. She got an idea to change my entire patio and yard around so that now it looks like a regular little playgroud for the kids :) If I knew how to download pictures, I would show you. The boys had a blast out there!

Saturday, my daughter brought me home some beautiful flowers, once again in appreciation for keeping the baby while she continues to go to school and work. Now that the baby is getting older and I am getting a bit more sleep, not much, things feel a little better.

I am thinking about keeping kids on satuday because I simply need the money. The thing about doing weekend care, is that I will not get a break at all from working. I ask myself, has it come to that point that I must work every day? That's just sad!


Polly said...

1. I think if you can you need to keep the weekend for you - you really need some time out.

2. a day in bed in your jarmies sounds heavenly - and sounds like you should do it more often!

presious said...


Interesting that you responded to this one. I've been advertising for one more kid but the responses are so slow. I am so afraid of falling behind on my bills.

One of the parents mentioned weekend care. It pays well and it would be from 6 am to 2 pm. I've been thinking about it for about a week now.

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. It would be easy work, just one child and it pays well. You are absolutely right, I do need time out for myself, but I feel so overwhelmed when the bills aren't paid.

Back in Aug of '07, all my vehicles broke down. Two weeks later, I was terminated from my job with the county as a Family Therapist. Eight months later, my house was in foreclosure. I was fortunate to be able to rebuild, but it was the scariest thing to go through. I think I am truly terrified of being in that place again.

Still thinking.

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Hmmm. It is a tough call. I'm clinically depressed and have had to learn the hard way to *make* time for myself. Sometimes the bills will be late, and they can be late-but your emotional and physical well-being don't have grace periods or payment plans. I'd really weigh this out before sacrificing any more of your down time.