Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Life So Interesting

Relationships between man and woman are so interesting. How do some become so successful while others totally fail? Yes, I do know some of us have some severe baggage, but I've seen even those relationships make it through for years, very strongly.

My marriage didn't make it. Both of us, myself and my ex, look back and laugh. He said, "If I had just acted right, we'd still be together." I fought for him for 4 years! How long should I have stayed in that battle, that war? I had my share of faults as no one is perfect. Apparently, he was doing some things I was not aware of...I never wanted to know. What does it really take for a marriage to make it?

I know couples who have been married for 40 years and they know infidelity has occurred (and may still be occurring) yet they stay together. They sleep in separate rooms and have separate lives. It's like a divorce without the legal process. What happens when the people in the relationships change? How does that get handled? What is the effect on the trust in the marriage?


Polly said...

I have always said to my Husband that I would rather be seperated and happy than together and miserable. I am hoping it never comes to that but I think in that situation it is best for all.

Suburbia said...

It is strange how people can come to terms with infidelity isn't it? Also how people can chose to live together but live seperate lives. My mother has chosen this path, that is part of the reason why I have chosen to end my relationship now, while I am almost young! I can't imagine living in a passionless relationship forever, but people do and they seem happy. Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps I should shut up and put up, but I can't help thinking, lifes too short.

Thanks for your thought provoking posts.

presious said...


I absolutely agree with you. I tried the suggested route with my husband, but he refused it. He felt it would leave the door open to other relationships. I felt it would give us the room to work on our marriage.

For about a month or so prior to our actual separation towards our divorce, he did sleep on the couch. That was the most painful experience in my life! It hurt so badly. Which is why I got out as well. During this time, I never knew why he was rejecting me. Never told me to this day.

I'm passed it now and my life is wonderful. Because I have children, I "chose" not to get into another relationship because I did not want another man raising my children and I did not want to make their lives complicated. He did remarry and they tolerated it because they are raised to respect adults.

However, they do not like her and he tries to make one big family that includes me. I decline his offers for family get-togethers. That is no longer my place. It is hers. No, she is not the reason for the dissolution of the marriage. Supposedly, he met her about 3 years after the divorce.

By no means should you "shut up", you opinion is very valid. A lot of us out here agree! Some don't. I do.

presious said...


I too would rather be separated and happy. He wouldn't go for that. Little did I know, he had given up on the marriage and he camoflouged all the counseling sessions with 4 different counselors. After I tried to save our marriage for the following 4 years, I chose to end the marriage.
He was totally uncooperative.

Even today, it was the right decision even though he regrets it. I felt I gave it all I could. Have you ever heard the saying, "I have to more to give" or "I'm just empty or emotionless"? That is the point were I was. After 4 years, I had nothing else to give. We were married for 10 & a half years.

We are friends now.