Kids & Appreciation

Well, the kids have been out of school for the summer and it is that time for them to help out around the house. My boys are really good about it. They've been raised that way and they expect it.

My oldest boy came home for the weekend which is always a wonderful treat. He is more settled now with a direction for his life. He is still using my car which is holding up pretty well. Since it got broken into and the radio stolen, it has been a bit vulnerable. So, this weekend, I had all that fixed. My son washed the car and it looked brand new! He has really calmed down and has begun to relax and focus.

In addition to putting the lawn mower in the shop, repairing the shampooer & shampooing the carpets and taking a load of junk to the thrift store, I have had the boys help out in the day care as well. I really want them to get an appreciation for what it takes to run the day care. I say this because they don't seem to understand why mom is so cranky and tired at the end of the day, especially when they don't handle their responsibilities such as emptying the trash or washing the dishes.

My youngest boy, who will soon be 15 years old at the end of this month, is really, really good with the baby. I am so very impressed! Throughout the day, he has changed his diaper, prepared his food & fed him and put him to sleep. During the evening, he does a very good job as well. The baby is totally crazy about his uncle! It is so cute because when uncle walks into the room, baby gets really excited and will get upset if uncle doesn't take him! Being that the father of the baby is not involved, this is a really nice bond for the baby that I hope only gets stronger as they both grow.

Its been tough with the budget being so tight, but so far so good. It's like the further along we get, the tighter it gets. I do have a check coming from one of the subsidized programs. It will help a lot but not enough to make a difference towards the mortgage. I'm still doing ok emotionally. I haven't fallen apart with worry. I am still having a significant amount of pain but it has been manageable with the baths.

Well, the kids are down and I just wanted to touch basis. It's been a while since I've posted an entry. I do, however, keep up on my reading of other blogs. It really helps me get through my day.

I appreciate your responses, support and encouragement. It's really makes my day :). Thanks Polly, Lori, Linda and Saz.

Much Love!...Presious

Feeling Tired Again

Well, it's that time again. I am exhausted and worried. I've been trying everything to get two more kids enrolled in the day care. I haven't had any success as of yet. I have posted webpages and ads all over the internet on every search engine I can find.

I am still doing research and asking questions regarding my mortgage. I will need to set aside some money to pay the agency. I found one I think I really like and it has a money back guarantee. Yes, it is expensive but it costs about half the cost of the others. This one has an office very close to my house. I think I mentioned that in another post. I've since spoken to the representative several times. I like it when you call a business and they actually answer or they return your call. This is really important to me.

The packet of forms is pretty extensive. I started filling it out today. I have a few more statements to add to it and I will be done. Unfortunately, I will have to delay the mortgage payment for one month in order to pay this agency. I believe it will be worth it. I hoping I will be able to catch up on that payment later or through the modification.

Emotionally, I'm good. I've been enlisting the help of my boys with the my grandson. I've also been taking spa baths to keep by body relaxed. I'm doing much better physically. I've been sleeping pretty good except for last night. I couldn't get to sleep then, once I was sleep, I kept waking up. Tomorrow is a holiday and the day care will be closed. This will help with getting some rest.

A Good Feeling

Just before going to my doctor appointment, I was supposed to meet a lady to give her some baby formula. The formula that my grandson is on is being discontinued. As a result, we needed to look at putting him on another one. The one we tried, caused him to break out in hives. My daughter had lots and lots of it. She is on a program called WIC (Woman, Infants & Children) that provides a few early start foods for free. Well, my daughter wasn't sure what to do with the formula.

There is a website called "Freecycle.org" where people post things they both want to recieve and want to give away for free...yes, free. I got online and went down the list. The woman was there asking for formula. Apparently, they are a young couple having hard times. We arranged to meet in front of the grocery store, but she did not show up.

I went on to my doctor appt with plans to check online later. She apologized and said her son had gotten hurt and she couldn't make it. Of course, I told her that was ok and I hoped her son was ok. I asked her if she would mind if my son dropped it off to her. She was fine with that since they did not have a car. She agreed and my son dropped it off to her yesterday afternoon. He sent me a text letting me know all went well and he was off to work.

It really does feel good to help someone.

Good News!

Good News! Good News! Good News!

The doctor appointment went quite well. It was a very small clinic and the staff were wonderful and friendly. Friendly staff is very important to me. To me, it signifies that you are not just a "number" on a file. The doctor had a wonderful sense of humor as well. He told me he has been at that location for 14 years! Longevity of service is always a plus in my book! Hmmm.... friendly staff, good humor, and longevity of service, those are all good marks for me!

I explained a bit of my history with the doctor and the concerns I had regarding my meds. He said to me, "Well, we have samples." At first I wasn't sure what he was referring to. My mind said samples, meaning something new for me to try. He followed up with a few more questions. I just listened because I did not want to panic at, what I thought meant a new medication to "try". He left the room. When he returned, he had a bag of samples of "my" medication! :) :) I was so happy!

Again, because there is no generic for my meds, he explained that if I came back every 4 to 6 weeks, he will continue to provide me with the free samples!! How cool is that??? :) :) :). My other medication, a muscle relaxant, he did not have as a sample. He found a low cost pharmacy that carried it for $40. All in all, everything went really, really well! I am a happy trooper :)!

I felt it a good idea to stop taking my supplements while I take the medication. Not sure if it is a good idea to mix the two. Yesterday, I took my first dosage. Later, I got quite a bit of nausea, to the point of having to lay down. This is a side effect of the medication. I took it this morning and I feel good so far.

Today, I feel the symptoms, but not intense. I'm a bit sluggish and a tad irritable. It will be an easy day for the kids so that I can be careful to not take it out on them. They will have lots of outdoor play and later, a movie.

I look forward to feeling better!

Breaking Down

Well, I am finally going to go to the doctor today. I am not getting my hopes up regarding my medication. I take Cymbalta which works really, really well for both the pain and the depression, however, there is no generic for it and it is extremely expensive.

I do not have "any" medical insurance since I lost my job back in Aug of '07. I simply can not afford it. I am primarily going to the doctor to confirm or disconfirm whether or not I can get my meds. Kind of a process of elimination rather than continuing to wonder what the outcome can possibly be. Maybe I will be nicely surprised with some good news!

Last night, I took my spa bath and laid down. My daughter was off work and she had the baby. I did have two late nighters but they were not a problem. I felt great after my bath. I was actually considering not going to the doctor appt. When I woke up this morning, I was disappointed to discover the pain had returned.

If this appt is not successful, I'm not sure what I will do. I loose one more kid at the end of this week. I try to remain positive in my thoughts. I try to stay neutral so I don't get as disappointed if things don't work out.

Prayers and much faith.

Kinda Bummed

I'm feeling kinda bummed today. The reality of not having enough kids is setting in. I do have a plan, but it means things will be quite tight once again. I am working hard not to feel discouraged.

Being pre-pms doesn't help either. Yes, I am one of those emotional types. It really is a bummer. The slightest thing can bring a huge flow of tears! It is soooo annoying. I consider myself to be a strong person, one who does what she has to do to handle situations. I don't like feeling so overwhelmed with emotion to the point of crying. All I could do with such intense feelings was to go into my closet and pray!

I have "symptoms" of fibromyalsia. I say symptoms because though I can feel these symptoms, I refuse to admit or accept to full diagnosis of this disorder. I say this because it is a degenerative disorder. When people ask what it is, I tell them it is to the muscles what arthritis is to the joints. It can be quite painful. Headaches/migraines are common. It effects the eyes as well. Most common areas of pain are at the base of the head, the neck, the shoulders and the back. The wrists and hands have their share as well. Fatigue and depression go hand in hand and can be extreme and extremely frustrating. This disorder can weaken the muscles to the point of becoming disabled. To accept this is very scary for me. Therefore, I nurture the symptoms very early.

One might say, "Well, I have those sypmptoms." Most of us experience tension or stress in these areas of the body. If you find that the syptoms are lingering long after the stress has been resolved, you might want to visit your doctor. The pain can be a low, constant throb to an intense tightening or acking knot in a particular muscle. Your eyes will feel as if you are looking through a haze or fog. You will definitely know if you have it. It is different from every day tension in the neck.

Well, I've complained enough. I try to stay busy as to not focus on what I am feeling. I have to balance the kids with my physical discomfort. I think I have pretty good system. Must get started. Kids are starting to arrive.

Interesting News

I received an email from "Scam Warners" letting me know that the parents who were supposedly coming from out of the country are scam artists!! WOW! Apparently, they are located somewhere in Nigeria and look for businesses on the internet to take their money.

Their plan was to gain my confidence in them, write me a "fake" check, I was supposed to deposit this check and I'd end up paying the bank for depositing a bad check. In addition, they would plan to send additional money and ask the person they are scamming to send the extra back to them. In other words, the money that is sent back is money they get from the business they are scamming. In the meantime, the person cashing the check can be arrested for cashing a bad check!!

When this couple wanted to send me one month's pay for child care, I felt a little uncomfortable with it. My thoughts were, what if they get all the way here and decide they don't want to bring their child for whatever reason? Why send the money ahead of time? Besides, the opening will be here when they get here. So, I emailed them back and told them not to send the money. I asked them to wait until they were face to face with me. They sent me another email, but I did not respond since I got the warning.

Scam Warners explained that I was safe because these people are located in Nigeria. Also, a friend of mine informed me that I can tell them that the bank places a hold on all personal checks, cashiers checks and money orders due to high numbers of fraud cases.

WOW! That was crazy! Of course, I sent Scam Warners a 'thank you' email. Boy, did I learn something from this experience!

I haven't heard back from the other family. I am assuming they found care somewhere else. I'm ok with that.