Been A Long Time

Good morning everyone!

Yes, it has been a long time since I've blogged. I've been really working on changing my disposition regarding the fibromyaslia. Since I've been taking the supplements, the physical aspects i.e. pain, muscle spasms, headaches, etc. have improved greatly. However, the fatigue is just a constant issue.

What I've been attempting to do is to change the way I think, if that makes sense. I had a tendency to allow my emotions to surface i.e. frustration, depression, irritability, etc. I constantly felt awful...really awful. So, I changed my thoughts to mapping out my day, being careful to monitor my physical energy. Once I have reached a point, prior to being "totally" exhausted, I engaged in fewer to no more activities for the day.

A person with fibro simply does not have their normal energy they once had prior to having the disorder. If we don't take the time to put things into perspective, we continue to push ourselves through our daily routine. We are tired from the moment we go to bed at night to the moment of getting up in the morning...we start our day "tired"...lol! It's an absolutely horrible feeling!

Keeping things in perspective has really, really helped a lot. I've began lessons and projects with the daycare kids which has been truly rewarding. When necessary, I have the kids watch a movie so that I can regroup as well. My grandson is 23 months old now and quite a handful. I must compensate for him as well. When I feel I've had enough of him, I put him in his playpen for him to calm down a bit and to give me a breather. My youngest son and I have been going to discount movies at the theater on tuesday nights which has been really nice. It helps to simply get out of the house. I'm still working on getting to bed by 10pm. The late night kids make this a tad difficult, but I make the best of it :-).

An update on my son who moved out a month ago, he is doing very, very well. He still comes by the house to see Mom. I keep his old bedroom door closed for the most part...actually, it has become the dog's room...lol! The queen size bed, desk and shelf are still there. I'm pretty use to it now. He keeps in touch. It was that initial "break" that really got me. I'm doing good now.

I'm still fighting for my modification on my house! Yes, crazy! It's been over a year! In June, Chase Mortgage tried to sell my house without telling me. They claimed to have sent a letter, which they did not. Every time I call, I get someone different who tells me something different. Finally, a woman told me, it was closed illegally and that I needed to send the paper work again. So, we did that and are waiting "again". Please send prayers friends!

A fellow daycare provider and I have built a really nice support system with each other as well. We meet at the park and we meet at one house to help each other out. This has been truly a blessing! Being a daycare provider can be very, very lonely. She has been an awesome support.

Overall, things are going well. I feel a lot better. Thanks to all of you who have sent positive thoughts and prayers my way! Very much appreciated!

Positive thought and prayers :-)

What a Relief!

I must say, I am so relieved! I took dear Polly's comments and acted on them by having a few words with my son. I told him that I feel better about his moving out to rent a room and to explore adulthood on his own. I explained to him how I've been thinking about it and I have come to understand where he's coming from and what he feels he must do.

I was sincere when I spoke with him. I told all my kids that there comes time when they get that "itch" to be on their own. It's nothing personal towards us as parents....hmmm I have to think about that a little bit. My point is, I do understand that "feeling" of wanting to be on their own. I fully support them. Yes, for mom, it is bitter-sweet. They are our babies. It doesn't matter how grown up they become, they are still our babies. It is just as much of a transition for us as it is for them.

So, with that said, he took me over to his place ("room") where I met the owners of the house (their daughter is renting a room as well, with one other house mate). It is very clean and I like the neighborhood. I helped him move and bought his first set of groceries. The transition was easier than I thought. He knows he is welcome to return home should anything go wrong...this is not a "permanent" offer...lol!

Some Discomforts

Having some discomforts today. My 3rd oldest wants to move out, found a room to rent. I do support him 100%. We agreed that it would be a trial basis and if he makes it, then great. However, he just doesn't seem too excited about it. In fact, he doesn't even seem happy. That in itself is a huge flag for me. With his moving out, I feel I won't really know what's going on with him.

When I had a talk with him this morning, he said he's just tired. Watching him makes me sad because he "seems" sad. He seems to have lost his funny, fun self. He said, "Maybe I'm maturing, Mom." It is possible, but does he have to loose his fun personality to become mature?

Part of me realizes that, yes, he is growing up and maybe that part of his personality has to take a back seat. Another part realizes that he is working and going to college. Together, I suppose, that would cause one's child to change.

Maybe I'm feeling just a small bit of "empty nest" syndrome.....sigh*~

Positive thoughts and prayers...a lot, please!.....:-)

Looking Up Again

I must say, this week, things are looking up. We always feel great when the finances are doing well!

I just enrolled a sibling set (2), today. So far, they are well behaved. The brother is 5 and will be starting kindergarden on wednesday. The sister is 3 and will remain here with me. They both have these HUGE, adorable blue eyes that can make you melted if you're not careful!...especially the little girl! I really want to pick up the lesson plans again, but I get so overwhelmed with the schedule that it is difficult to plan for it. I'm thinking bout giving it a good try again.

The modification on the house is taking a long time, but my rep said he will try to push for a completion. The bank, Chase, is being really stubborn. I've never had to be more patient in my entire life!...no exaggeration!

My 3rd son has found a room to rent. I fully support him. He's a good boy, 18 years old. He's going to school and working. Seems to be doing well. He should be moved by sunday this week. He also, finally, got rid of the project car the was in the garage. He had a salvage place pick it up and pay him $200 for it, which he just broke even.

My baby son, 16 years old, finally got his little part time job at a fast food place. He not too thrilled being that it is fast food. He really preferred retail. I really don't blame him. However, retail is a bit more difficult to obtain. He hasn't given up though. He also made it onto the football team, officially (this picture is not him). He picked up his gear last week. He's also practicing his driving to he can get his drivers license in 6 months (I think it's 50 hours behind the wheel or 6 months).

Finally Figured it Out!

Wow! I finally figured it out!...Lol! Truly can't say that I can do it again, but something worked! I finally got the computer to recognize the camera! I think it went through a different program because I really wasn't familiar with the window that popped up for the downloads.

At any rate, here is a picture of the blanket I finally completed. It was a tad bit lopsided, but when I explained that to my auntie, she was more than happy to take it because it was specially made for her!

Currently, I am about half through the next one, which is for me. I am happy to mention that it is "pink". Yes, I do like pink. It is definitely my favorite color. I did not realize until today that I really do have a lot of pink "stuff". No, I don't particularly wear a lot of pink, but I do have a lot of pink things like my phone cover, my throw blanket, I like pink writing pens (they don't have to write in pink...in fact, I don't like to write in pink...lol). As a matter of fact, my laptop is cotton candy pink!

Well, here is the blanket...it was certainly fun making it!....Positive thoughts and prayers!

Internship

The internship is going quite well. It does feel good to be able to help people...those that really want to be helped. I have a family, son and stepfather, who have been struggling for the past 9 months or so. The boy is 13 years old. Stepfather has been with his mom since he was 2 years old. They also have 3 other boys from their union.

The stepfather comes from a background of neglect. His own father committed suicide when he was 6 years old. He found out when he was 9 years old. His mom ended up with a boyfriend who was a drug addict/alcoholic. Mom worked while all the kids and this boyfriend were at home doing drugs and drinking. As a boy, he was not fed or bathe and was ridiculed for it by his mom's boyfriend. By age 14, he was drinking himself. By 16 he was addicted to cocaine. He's been clean for just a few years.

The stepson has his own issues as well. He is not on drugs or alcohol, but his biological father has made some major mistakes as well. This bio father is trying to make up for by making promises that he fails to keep. The mom is basically caught in the middle of this mess and does not know how to defend her own son.

Well, I had the boy come in with his mom for a session or two. Then I had the stepfather come in with the mom. Then I had the whole family come in. Overall, we discussed being consistent with the rules for all the children, at an age appropriate level. I really think the stepfather is trying very hard, but he becomes frustrated because the boy becomes frustrated and they truly clash in a major way.

Once we established age appropriate consequences for each child, and follow-through, I was able to focus more on the stepfather and the 13 year old son. We discussed communication with respect. I provided the boy with some outlets to help relieve some of his frustration and gave stepdad some phrases to reflect back to the boy during conflict. This allowed the boy to hear and know that the stepdad understood what he was feeling.

To my surprise, I received a phone call from the dad letting me know that this technique worked. When he did it, he was calm with no yelling. The son became teary-eyed and speechless! The situation never escalated and resulted in a hug between the two of them! I was in tears myself!

Not every client works out this way. In fact, very few do. However, it feels sooo good when it does! :-).

Happy thoughts and prayers!

Catching Up To Me

I'm not sure if my schedule is catching up to me or what, but I am really going through the blahs this week! Yuk! Everything makes me tearful. I was talking with my daughter this morning, about some sensitive "stuff" regarding a very broken friendship, and I was barely able to get my words out without seriously crying!...gheez! I do have alot going on at one time, but who doesn't?

I am, however, working on a new blanket. Crotcheting has really been helping to keep me calm when I feel anxious. Alot of times, when you deal with kids, you have places in your schedule where they are having free play or playing outside, leaving me with idle time to observe or talk with them. Over time, this can become "unfulfilling"...for lack of a better term lol! Crotcheting allows me to fill those moments a little bit.

Speaking of making blankets, Ms. Polly I do apologize for not displaying my other blanket. The camera and the computer would not cooperate for some reason. When I get it figured out, I will get on display.

Well, happy thoughts and prayers!....:-)