I am feeling so much lighter! For the past few days, I have felt so much better emotionally. I so wish I knew what the difference is, you know, what has changed that I feel better. I do continue to tell myself, "It will get better." You know me and how I do things, lol! I look ahead to see, if anything, I can do to shorten the time frame of discomfort. I do believe my discomfort is due to financial shortcomings so my options will be fairly limited. I have done all that I can do at this point. I've focused more on getting rest, taking my hot baths and going back to bible study. For a wihle there, I had become so overwhelmed that I had lost my way to rebuilding myself. Sunday afternoon, I felt so guilty because I had to give myself permission to lay in bed with movies all day! It paid off wonderfully. I'm not able to take my hot baths as regularly as I would like and had once done due to having a few day care kids late evening, but I have resumed taking my baths as often as I can...sometimes 11:00 pm! This afternoon, while the kids were sleeping, a very dear friend of mine stopped by to give me a "just-thought-of you" gift. Believe it or not, no one has ever done such a thing for me! It was totally awesome! She has really be there for me spiritually. We pray together and study scriptures together. She brought me a beautiful, large, colorful chime set!True friends can be totally awesome!
I am a huge fan of animals, especially dogs. They are so loyal and loving, yet humans can be so abusive. If I could, I would have a dog kennel and take care of all the unwanted dogs. At the same time, they are just like children, from potty training to feeding! lol! Just adorable
Today, I have a mild concern of not being consistent. I say "mild" because I do understand why I am having difficulty with it and I do know the causes, some of which I do not have control of.I am referring to being able to create a "regular" schedule with the kids in the daycare. Back in San Diego, things were very different from my physcial location (across the street from a school), resources that were available to providers (headstart, gain, YMCA and the resource listing) and a better economy. My prices were known to be one of the lowest in the city and I was known to get the children prepared for kindergarden. I had a reputation for good discipline for the children as well. In fact, the worst behaved children were often referred to me, LOL!Today, circumstances are so very different i.e. my city itself (fairly country in the middle of nowhere causing parents to have to commute to major cities), the lack of available subsidized programs and, most of all, the condition of the economy. As we know, cost is always a factor and there are many influences to determining what parents can afford without going so low as to being unable to pay my own bills. I do still keep my charges low. The economy is hurting us all very badly. Adults are loosing jobs quickly and in mass amounts. People who have worked at major corporations for years and years have lost their jobs and are forced to work at fast food places at 1/4 the pay! The competition is huge! In working at fast foods, grocery stores, etc., they are also forced to work varying hours. My point is such that the state of the economy, parents are having tough times, with crazy hours, doing the best they can to hold on to minimum paying jobs. I don't want to sound selfish, but I said all that to say, the kids all get here at varying hours, that change from week to week, sometimes even daily. To prepare a cirriculum is fairly difficult because often I don't know who I will have for the day. In addition to that, having my grandson makes for difficulty scheduling as well, babies will be babies. Every now and again, we have exceptionally exciting days that flow wonderfully. For me, "every not and then" is not enough. Often I feel discouraged and bored. I can only wonder what the children might be feeling. They do enjoy playing together and are learning may social and interactive skills. They get a lot of physical activity. A few days ago, my friend and neighbor came over and we decided on a whim to rearrange the entire backyard. It turned out very, very nice! The kids absolutely love it and it allows for them to get more large muscle use.
Today was rather interesting. I spent the whole weekend calculating my time due to the prevention of depression. Today proved successful :). Somehow, I feel my depression is caused by my interpretation of the events in my life. Saturday, my 17 year old boy surprised me by doing many chores that I had mentioned needed to be done, but as usual, I had forgotten about. It gave me such a sense of relief. So often, I feel as if I must run everything or nothing will get done. I suppose that is the oldest known statement of a mother LOL! My son remembered to put the banner up to advertise for daycare kids. He washed my car that has recently been repaired after being inoperatable for a year and 7 months, and he cut the front grass which makes the house look so much better :). Keep in mind, he is on restriction too! Saturday night, we crawled into our jammies and watched dvd's til late. Sunday, I laid in bed all day, in my jammies, watching movies. At first, I kept telling myself, this is ridiculous and I need to get up. Then I remembered, a friend of mine once told me, that sometimes that is exactly what you need is to do "nothing" all day long. I did get up eventually to go to sunday service which I was glad I did. I took my grandson who was rather cranky.While at services on sunday, my grandson made a biscuit in his diaper which seemed to burn his bottom :(. It concerned me a great deal because this was not like him. My first thought was his teeth. His bottom two teeth are just about ready to break through. Later that evening, he did it again. I put salve on him to prevent another occurrence. When I spoke to my daughter about his burning bottom, she recalled having some jalapenos a few days ago (She pumps her breast milk and freezes it). Last night, he was cranky throughout the night, waking up about 4 times. This morning, he did much better. Upon making another biscuit, he is fine now :), though I think he is getting a tad bit spoiled! :)Today went quite well as Gina, my neighbor from acoss the street dropped in for a visit. We took the boys outside (daycare kids) to play. She loves to decorate and build major projects. She got an idea to change my entire patio and yard around so that now it looks like a regular little playgroud for the kids :) If I knew how to download pictures, I would show you. The boys had a blast out there!Saturday, my daughter brought me home some beautiful flowers, once again in appreciation for keeping the baby while she continues to go to school and work. Now that the baby is getting older and I am getting a bit more sleep, not much, things feel a little better. I am thinking about keeping kids on satuday because I simply need the money. The thing about doing weekend care, is that I will not get a break at all from working. I ask myself, has it come to that point that I must work every day? That's just sad!
I admit, I am quite concerned about my budget. I am getting phone calls for the openings that I do have in the daycare, however, for whatever reason, it has not worked out. Many of the parents are calling from far away that do not travel this way for work. Others have very hectic work hours and are unable to pay an hourly rate of $9.00/hr. Others are part time and do not realize the cost of childcare until they contact the provider.I did go out yesterday to one of the subsidized offices and passed out flyers. I had a chance to make direct contact wtih some of the parents. They were very kind and receptive, but that doesn't necessarily mean they need childcare.On a good note, I did get my car back after 1 year and 7 months! It only cost $350 which included both parts and labor! This was paid for prior to my budget crunch. I had two mechanics tell me I needed a new engine at $2800, another tell me it was the computer chip at $1800 and two others tell me it was fuel related. All these were absolutely incorrect! I am so glad I trusted my gut. I have always taken good care of my vehicles with regular upkeep. I felt all of these were extreme. So, I waited. Now, I am waiting for the budget to get better so I can get the car registered, smogged and insured.
As I sit here and speak to you all, I have a housefull of children! I am tired, but can you believe I am enjoying it?! Am I crazy! I have my regular late sibling set, a 10 year old and a 20 month old, and I am baby sitting a sibling set that was in the daycare previously but moved ot a different city, 3 year old and 1 year old. Plus, I am watching my friends' grandson, 7 years old due to a death in the family. My grandson I am still taking care of until grandpa (my ex husband) comes to pick up both our teenage boys and the baby for the weekend. Yes! my household is quite busy right now! When it is all over, I will totally colapse into oblivion! Too bad daycare providers are not paid enough for all that they do! One has to be insane to do such a profession :)! There ya' go...I must be insane! LOL!Have a happy and fulfilled weekend!....presious
My grandson, now 5 months old, is teething pretty badly. Poor baby, you can see where the teeth are pressing through is gums. Yesterday was pretty tough for him. Last night, I gave him some tylennol and a nice warm bath, rubbed him down with baby oil, gave him a nice warm bottle of milk, then wrapped him in a blanket and rocked him to sleep. He woke up only once in the middle of the night. He is having a wonderful morning so far. He is not crying, in fact, he is smiling and having a good time playing with his toys :). He should be getting ready for his morning nap. It's so hard when they teeth and there's not a whole lot we can do for their discomfort. This time, it worked out well. Nana is happy and I am certain that my grandson is much better!
