A Good Feeling

Just before going to my doctor appointment, I was supposed to meet a lady to give her some baby formula. The formula that my grandson is on is being discontinued. As a result, we needed to look at putting him on another one. The one we tried, caused him to break out in hives. My daughter had lots and lots of it. She is on a program called WIC (Woman, Infants & Children) that provides a few early start foods for free. Well, my daughter wasn't sure what to do with the formula.

There is a website called "Freecycle.org" where people post things they both want to recieve and want to give away for free...yes, free. I got online and went down the list. The woman was there asking for formula. Apparently, they are a young couple having hard times. We arranged to meet in front of the grocery store, but she did not show up.

I went on to my doctor appt with plans to check online later. She apologized and said her son had gotten hurt and she couldn't make it. Of course, I told her that was ok and I hoped her son was ok. I asked her if she would mind if my son dropped it off to her. She was fine with that since they did not have a car. She agreed and my son dropped it off to her yesterday afternoon. He sent me a text letting me know all went well and he was off to work.

It really does feel good to help someone.

Good News!

Good News! Good News! Good News!

The doctor appointment went quite well. It was a very small clinic and the staff were wonderful and friendly. Friendly staff is very important to me. To me, it signifies that you are not just a "number" on a file. The doctor had a wonderful sense of humor as well. He told me he has been at that location for 14 years! Longevity of service is always a plus in my book! Hmmm.... friendly staff, good humor, and longevity of service, those are all good marks for me!

I explained a bit of my history with the doctor and the concerns I had regarding my meds. He said to me, "Well, we have samples." At first I wasn't sure what he was referring to. My mind said samples, meaning something new for me to try. He followed up with a few more questions. I just listened because I did not want to panic at, what I thought meant a new medication to "try". He left the room. When he returned, he had a bag of samples of "my" medication! :) :) I was so happy!

Again, because there is no generic for my meds, he explained that if I came back every 4 to 6 weeks, he will continue to provide me with the free samples!! How cool is that??? :) :) :). My other medication, a muscle relaxant, he did not have as a sample. He found a low cost pharmacy that carried it for $40. All in all, everything went really, really well! I am a happy trooper :)!

I felt it a good idea to stop taking my supplements while I take the medication. Not sure if it is a good idea to mix the two. Yesterday, I took my first dosage. Later, I got quite a bit of nausea, to the point of having to lay down. This is a side effect of the medication. I took it this morning and I feel good so far.

Today, I feel the symptoms, but not intense. I'm a bit sluggish and a tad irritable. It will be an easy day for the kids so that I can be careful to not take it out on them. They will have lots of outdoor play and later, a movie.

I look forward to feeling better!

Breaking Down

Well, I am finally going to go to the doctor today. I am not getting my hopes up regarding my medication. I take Cymbalta which works really, really well for both the pain and the depression, however, there is no generic for it and it is extremely expensive.

I do not have "any" medical insurance since I lost my job back in Aug of '07. I simply can not afford it. I am primarily going to the doctor to confirm or disconfirm whether or not I can get my meds. Kind of a process of elimination rather than continuing to wonder what the outcome can possibly be. Maybe I will be nicely surprised with some good news!

Last night, I took my spa bath and laid down. My daughter was off work and she had the baby. I did have two late nighters but they were not a problem. I felt great after my bath. I was actually considering not going to the doctor appt. When I woke up this morning, I was disappointed to discover the pain had returned.

If this appt is not successful, I'm not sure what I will do. I loose one more kid at the end of this week. I try to remain positive in my thoughts. I try to stay neutral so I don't get as disappointed if things don't work out.

Prayers and much faith.

Kinda Bummed

I'm feeling kinda bummed today. The reality of not having enough kids is setting in. I do have a plan, but it means things will be quite tight once again. I am working hard not to feel discouraged.

Being pre-pms doesn't help either. Yes, I am one of those emotional types. It really is a bummer. The slightest thing can bring a huge flow of tears! It is soooo annoying. I consider myself to be a strong person, one who does what she has to do to handle situations. I don't like feeling so overwhelmed with emotion to the point of crying. All I could do with such intense feelings was to go into my closet and pray!

I have "symptoms" of fibromyalsia. I say symptoms because though I can feel these symptoms, I refuse to admit or accept to full diagnosis of this disorder. I say this because it is a degenerative disorder. When people ask what it is, I tell them it is to the muscles what arthritis is to the joints. It can be quite painful. Headaches/migraines are common. It effects the eyes as well. Most common areas of pain are at the base of the head, the neck, the shoulders and the back. The wrists and hands have their share as well. Fatigue and depression go hand in hand and can be extreme and extremely frustrating. This disorder can weaken the muscles to the point of becoming disabled. To accept this is very scary for me. Therefore, I nurture the symptoms very early.

One might say, "Well, I have those sypmptoms." Most of us experience tension or stress in these areas of the body. If you find that the syptoms are lingering long after the stress has been resolved, you might want to visit your doctor. The pain can be a low, constant throb to an intense tightening or acking knot in a particular muscle. Your eyes will feel as if you are looking through a haze or fog. You will definitely know if you have it. It is different from every day tension in the neck.

Well, I've complained enough. I try to stay busy as to not focus on what I am feeling. I have to balance the kids with my physical discomfort. I think I have pretty good system. Must get started. Kids are starting to arrive.

Interesting News

I received an email from "Scam Warners" letting me know that the parents who were supposedly coming from out of the country are scam artists!! WOW! Apparently, they are located somewhere in Nigeria and look for businesses on the internet to take their money.

Their plan was to gain my confidence in them, write me a "fake" check, I was supposed to deposit this check and I'd end up paying the bank for depositing a bad check. In addition, they would plan to send additional money and ask the person they are scamming to send the extra back to them. In other words, the money that is sent back is money they get from the business they are scamming. In the meantime, the person cashing the check can be arrested for cashing a bad check!!

When this couple wanted to send me one month's pay for child care, I felt a little uncomfortable with it. My thoughts were, what if they get all the way here and decide they don't want to bring their child for whatever reason? Why send the money ahead of time? Besides, the opening will be here when they get here. So, I emailed them back and told them not to send the money. I asked them to wait until they were face to face with me. They sent me another email, but I did not respond since I got the warning.

Scam Warners explained that I was safe because these people are located in Nigeria. Also, a friend of mine informed me that I can tell them that the bank places a hold on all personal checks, cashiers checks and money orders due to high numbers of fraud cases.

WOW! That was crazy! Of course, I sent Scam Warners a 'thank you' email. Boy, did I learn something from this experience!

I haven't heard back from the other family. I am assuming they found care somewhere else. I'm ok with that.

On A Happier Note...

Sorry for my little explosion back there. I just get so frustrated with trying to do the right thing while I feel like I do everything, then I get taken for granted.

I have exhaled and I have good news...at least for now. As you all know, I am at that point again where the bank is giving me grief with my mortgage and the daycare is in need of a few kids.

Today, I have an appointment at 3:00 pm with an agent to help with my mortgage. He has found what appears to be a reputable agency with a good reputation and proof of a good success record. I am not a real trusting person. I don't trust easily. So, he said he will go with me so make sure I understand all the lingo. I'm pretty excited to see what comes of this visit. I am not in any hurry to rush into a plan, but I do want to explore my options.

As for the day care, I went to VistaPrint.com and made the website for the daycare. Already I have two potential families! One is moving here from another city up the coast. We talked over the phone. She wants to talk to her husband to see about coming for a visit. The other family is coming all the way from Britain! We have been communicating through email. I've sent them my resume and they have my license number if they want to check my background. We plan to meet soon. They want to start day care on July 27th for their 3 year old little girl! I am so excited!

Though I am very excited, it must be scary looking for child care via the internet! You really don't know what you getting until you are face to face and seeing the facility for yourself. I invite them to come visit before making an absolute choice.

Some more good news! My boy and his friend just got home from picking up a "free" wooden backyard play set! It will need a coat of paint, but it was free!!

SIck & Tired!

I am so sick and tired of people thinking that just because I work from home looking after children that they can just come over and hang out! I run a business. If I came to your job, outside of your home, I would have to abide by those rules of your job. I couldn't come in there, bring friends, bring a radio and hamburgers and "hangout". To me that is a form of disrespect whether you work in the home or out of the home.

My daughter just got upset with me just now because I have an appointment to look at making changes to my mortgage. She is legal able to look after the day care. She has been fingerprinted and everything. The appointment is at 3:00pm today. She asked me if her friend can come over while I am gone!

First of all, as I explained, I run a business. Though licensing doesn't come by very often, they are supposed to do random visits. Secondly, I haven't met this guy. I am responsible for these children under my care. I don't know him! She works with him and has talked about him. He "seems" "ok", but I've never spoken to him or met him. For me, it is more of the principle that I run a business. Her boss would not let him come in, on his off hours, and just "kick it." I told her he can come over after hours.

Besides that, in running a business, I have a schedule to maintain. The kids eat lunch and take nap at a certain time. That is when I get my break, while they are sleeping. Otherwise, I get exhausted and cranky which is extremely not ok with a house full of children. I know what works for me, I know what to do in order to ensure that I am functioning at maximum ability. I don't have a staff to relieve me or pull some of the weight. When "visitors" are here, it is terribly distracting for the kids and, therefore, for me.

Yes, I have one of the grandparents of one of my school aged kids come over sometimes. However, she does have a child in my care. When she does come over, she is not an intrusion. She helps with the kids, changes diapers, helps with them outside, helps with lunch time, etc. I actually look forward to her being here. There is no comparison to my friend vs. my dauther's friend.

I dont feel I should have to explain myself in this regard!!....especially to my daughter!! I make my boys abide by the same rules. When my friend's son asks to come over, simply because he is bored at home, I tell him the same thing.

Sorry for being so angry, but it bothers me a lot! I don't have any support in my household and I am not asking for any. However,do not take advantage of me or have disrespectful expectations of me.